Date:   8/7/2005 4:03:36 PM ( 20 y ago)
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URL:   https://www.curezone.org/forums/fm.asp?i=669048

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"Ok, she should definitely strive for more than what she has at 22, but it doesn't mean that she should pregnant or married with a family."

first of all, I was not suggesting her to have a baby NOW, just reminding her that she is an adult person and that many, many persons of the same age of hers asll around the world experience responsability having families of their own. she is looking for love like a child does, just asking, but growing up means learning to GIVE love.



"I'm 21, soon to be 22, and I'm a full-time college student who has 1 year left to getting a degree. While I don't look down on mothers who have had children young, I don't think she should be made to feel bad that she isn't in that category. I'm sorry, no offense, but I think a lot of women would rather be educated than knocked-up..."

It seems to me that this last sentence places you right among those who look down on mothers of yr age.



"Trust me honey, the children can wait..."

Many women believe so, they just find up at 40 that it's too late.
come and tell me the same thing in a couple of decades.

" you can focus on YOURSELF as an individual (your intellect, your maturity, forming your personality, belief system, and goals),and LEARNING HOW TO SUPPORT YOURSELf financially before having to think about supporting a family. Forming yourself now will prepare you to be a better parent in the future."

What do you know about being a parent? You're not one. how can you be sure that one woman's growth, maturity etc. would be slowed by forming a family and/or having children? It is the opposite I think.
Moreover, I do believe that "focus on yourself" is a very dangerous advice, this girl is already focusing on herself, far too much don't ya think? She lacks love ,and she is not able to give, why give her such an advice ? what she needs is learn to relativize her point of view.



Our society is very skilled in teaching young people and especially women how to despise marriage, family and children. what kind of degree or work or wealthy situation will be worth your life in the end? lack of financial support is not such a problem when you are surrounded by loved ones, while pain and loneliness cannot be leaned by owning all the money and goods.
all these "wise talks" , children can wait etc., seem to me just a business to make working class people lonely and unhappy, and still working hard to reach their 'happiness' . I do not see many happy people however.

This is maybe not the right forum to discuss that, but I have a sister of yr age, whose statements are quite similar to yours, and she is quite unhappy...college student and still pampered by parents like an early teen... her head is filled by dreams of a bright future, but her heart is cold as stone, she is 100% selfish, 100% (to say so) satisfied , and 100% helpless not being able to feel any true love

love is the ONLY way. the rest is crap that sooner or later you will regret spending time about.

Hope you will find your way too.

love,

G.





















 

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