Date:   8/6/2005 1:09:38 PM ( 20 y ago)
Hits:   2,015
URL:   https://www.curezone.org/forums/fm.asp?i=669038

We women need to hear from guys outside of a relationship context, so thanks for your input and confirmation of how you would act (have acted) in the same situations!

I just watched the movie "The Upside of Anger" at my mom's prompting. I really didn't like the movie from an 'artistic' point of view. It was pretty much one-dimensional and flat to me. Not exactly a lovely movie in any sense. But true about bitterness that women can sink into.

There was a scene where the older guy is sleeping with the woman's daughter and she was, understandably, very upset. She confronts him at her other daughter's wedding and explodes her anger and caustic words on him. He gives it right back, basically saying that.....the reason that he dates younger women is that they are NICE. They are happy and giggly when he does things for them, and they are basically more fun and pleasant. He retorts, "SHOULD I DATE SOMEONE YOUR AGE...SOMEONE LIKE YOU? ALL BITTER AND ANGRY, ETC. ETC.??"

My ex made babies with not ONE but TWO other women. He got one woman pregnant while I was about to deliver our second child. I never found out about these children until recent years. He essentially kept three families at the same time,which was a huge deception. When we separated, he purchased a HUGE home and it has only my children's pictures, etc. in it. He has tried to get back with me all these years, yet he has had this other woman and her child and mother come there on days that we were not there. But there was no trace of her things for many years. I would take my children over to go swimming, etc. Never saw anything of another woman! And how could she stand having a relationship with a man who would not let her have anything at his home, all the while having his former children's pix and school papers, etc. etc. everywhere?? And the other woman and child, I'm not sure about the extent of involvement he had with her in later years, but I think that he does see the child occasionally. Very sick.

I don't know if I could EVER trust him again, even though he is very sorry and repentent at this point. He was in a career where he got a lot of attention from women and it went to his head when he was young. I was very angry for quite awhile and I PAID THE PRICE FOR IT.

I made him leave ten years ago when our children were one and three--because he was coming in at 2am, 3am, and 4am. I had no idea the extent of his infidelity. I suffered a lot financially especially at first because I was raising young children alone. He traveled all over the world, living the high life. I think that I have a lot of cause to be angry and feel very betrayed. But what good comes out of that? I have already suffered and had my health decline because of it! ENOUGH!

My ex is very remorseful about what happened, and now says that he has traveled the whole world over and that there is no woman in the world like me or equal to me. Said that he could never trust anyone like he can me. That I am his soul mate and best friend. (All I could think when he said this was... "Poor you. I'm your best friend and you treat me like this? How sad and sorry are the rest of your relationships??")

At this point, he is pretty devoted to my welfare and that of the kids. But I'm not certain that I would be able to get past the fact that he has other children out there--my kids have never seen them and yet he does apparently see them on a regular basis. It's sickening to me.

So, my point is that I think that I do have some experience to speak on this topic! The lessons have been hard-fought over time.


 

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