Date:   6/28/2005 6:54:03 AM ( 20 y ago)
Hits:   7,913
URL:   https://www.curezone.org/forums/fm.asp?i=668793

Hi all,

I'm stuck in a vicious cycle that is getting me down and making me depressed and anxious for the future. I am a 37 year old English male who is single and unable to make a close wholesome relationship with a woman. God knows I have tried very hard but I just can't relax and let it happen.

I'd say I come from an average/fortunate background. Parents are still married and never appeared to argue much. I have a older sister and brother who are both married with kids etc... and I have a good job/career and are financially secure.

I have had my fair share of relationships and some of those girls have been very nice indeed. Some haven't been so nice and I appear to dwell on those bad experiences.

The 2 or 3 serious relationships I have had always end because I can't let the woman get close to me. I let them in so far then shut them out. Not intentionally, I fight it like hell, but then get very depressed and force the girl away. As soon as I say the words, "I don't want you anymore", the depression/anxiety lifts and I regret it and I scrabble to win the girl back and make her feel secure again, but it just repeats. Obviously this behaviour takes its toll on the girl/relationship and quite rightly decides to make her own way in life.

I just don't know where these feelings come from. Some people just like to say I'm a typical bloke and commitment phobic etc... if this is true then it really isn't something to ridicule me over or laugh at. It really makes me very depressed to the point of suicidal thoughts. It is inner turmoil.

I was very unlucky in my first venture into relationships in my late teens. The girl mucked me about in a cruel and thoughtless way. And me being forgiving and perhaps a mug took her back after. I let her make a fool of me. Yes, I have self esteem and self love issues from this incident. I have tried everything to overcome this...hypnotherepay, reiki, prescription drugs for the depression, meditation...everything, but without joy.

I'm getting desperate. My friends don't understand...they think because meet girl reasonably well that I'm just being picky or something. I'm not!!! Everyone else is settling down and I appear unable to despite my craving to.

Anyone got any advice or experience of this matter...please help..

Thanks,





 

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