Date:   5/3/2005 12:27:30 PM ( 20 y ago)
Hits:   7,294
URL:   https://www.curezone.org/forums/fm.asp?i=668646

Don't get me wrong: I love him. I would miss him terribly if I left him. I admire his success and drive and intelligence. I am attracted to him. I am very affectionate with him. He gives me a sense of security with his optimism and the way he deals with lives' troubles (nothing is too hard for him).

I make just enough money to get by. I have lost jobs several times so I am paralyzed with fear of it happening again. I may have ADD but I am not sure. Or some other mood disorder. I always had good grades ins chool and am considered smart and cultured. But I am shy and not agressive enough in a world where only the strong and determined survive.

He is financially secure but is now starting a business where he can make a LOT of money. We have been together for 6 years and he had some rough patches. I stayed with him suring periods of little money and stress. Now we are getting married, so he knows I wanted to marry him even when he was down and out!

I have one daughter in College who is very bright and another who will go in a couple of years. By myself I could not maintain them in College. They are both wonderful daughters to me.

Here's my dilemma: there are many things in this man I would not tolerate if it weren't for the fact that he can help me feel more secure financially:

1) He is selfish and helps very little at home;

2) He is not romantic: I had no proposal and he never calls me endearing names like "honey" or "dear" or says "I love you" but he is capable of (he talks like that to his teenage daughter). I have told him time again how much I appreciate that. He hates to buy me gifts and has forgotten my bday. Won't change.

3) He refuses to give me oral sex. He knows I love it and I am clean and healthy and good looking. Men check me out all the time so I can't that unnactractive.

4) He has a bit of an anger problem and has called me "stupid" and a "bitch", which I absolutely hate. I told him I simply refuse to be treated like that. He has controlled himself on that one but sometimes in moments of fury he lets it slip by.

5)He spends way too much time in the computer. Working (not p 0 r n), but until late at night. I feel abandoned. Won't change.

6)He is not generous with his money, makes me pay half of everything at home (we live together) even though he makes more money-and has 30 times more assets. He likes to control what I spend, something that nobody ever did with me my entire life.

See, none of these are deal breakers (no infidelity-he is very faithful), no drugs, no drinking. We think alike in most issues too.

But if I leave him life will be very hard. I will have to take my high school daughter to a bad neigborhood. And I might have to take my brilliant daughter out of her top college. And I am 44, so I am not getting any younger and it will be more difficult to get a man-other men this age will also have issues and baggage.

Any opinions? Thank you.
 

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