Date:   3/22/2005 11:36:52 AM ( 19 y ago)
Hits:   1,227
URL:   https://www.curezone.org/forums/fm.asp?i=668494

I am so freaked out with my reaction that I am considering getting therapy for this:

My BF does not travel much. But when he does, I get really anxious before the trip. I make all these scenarios in my mind: he will meet someone on the plane, he will meet someone at the hotel bar, he will have fun while I am at my dull job inside a windowless office.
It is a mix of envy that he can be out there (I never travel for work), with fear of him cheating.

Reasons I feel this way:
-I don't like to be left alone,
-I love to travel for pleasure but he doesn't (so I travel very little because of him; he only travels when there is a purpose),
-He once told me he met a woman on a flight to Florida and later that day they hooked up (slept together). That movie Lost in Translation doesn't help either.
-Lastly, in the past when he travelled he was so ingrossed by what he was doing that he would not call. I had no idea what he was doing. He also went abroad once and brought me nothing.

Now I am just feeling anxiety because he needs to go to sunny beachy FL check up on for 2 days something while I am staying inside my "prison". He did not mention taking me. I always know that if he doesn't invite me to go somewhere with him, it's because he wants the opportunity to be on his own.
I have thought of taking a small vacation on my own but I just don't feel like walking by myself on some strange city. We have money to travel, and there are many places in the US I would like to visit, but he has no interest.
I have no idea why I have this paranoia. Maybe I am not feeling quite secure about his feelings, maybe it's a symptom of other things.
 

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