Date:   11/28/2004 8:53:43 AM ( 20 y ago)
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URL:   https://www.curezone.org/forums/fm.asp?i=667794

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Well, I know just how you feel. My fiance and I split up nearly a month ago and I would like to be friends with him still as we started out as friends and have had many good times together. He split up with me and I still love him though. I've tried to push the feeling apart and just focus on thinking of him in a purely platonic way. However, I can't do this yet, so I've decided to remain distant until I can do this. You're right. It's not healthy to torture yourself being around someone and knowing that you can't have them. If your relationship as friends is strong, once you let go of the romantic feelings you can be friends again. I still want to have my ex in my life very much, but until I can get past my current feeling and think of him only as a friend. I must limit my contact so that I can let go and heal.

The pain is immense as this was the most serious relationship of my life, yet... however, I need to move on. I find that going out with friends really helps and being social really helps. It hasn't been long and sometimes I think "oh god, why do I still love him?" if this doesn't go away I'm just going to have to resign myself to feeling the way I feel about him forever and learn to deal with that. However, I think this is just part of the grieving process and eventually, there will be days, where I don't think of him at all in the old way. I can't wait to get there.

Thank you for letting me get this off my chest. Reading other people's experiences on this forum helps me and makes me feel that I'm not alone.

Good luck with your situation. I think you know deep down that you need some time away from her to heal or else you wouldn't have posted it. I hope you can find the strength to do the right thing. Believe me, I know how hard it can be when you still have felings for someone.
 

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