Date:   9/7/2004 7:11:03 PM ( 20 y ago)
Hits:   11,076
URL:   https://www.curezone.org/forums/fm.asp?i=667026

Something I learned while dealing with my crack addicted X for a period of 10 years....you can't make anyone do anything they don't want to do. PERIOD.

I understand where you are coming from because I heard similar denials for many years and also that things I deemed troubling were "all in my head." In a very short period of time I went from being a self confident productive person to someone who didn't know herself when she looked in the mirror. I really thought I was going nuts.

Basically your hubby is the center of his own universe. My X had a similar upbringing...babied and left out of being with the older boys (his brothers are over ten years older than him) In fact....he still live with mom and dad at the ripe ol age of 38.

Understand that he really does not want to change his behavior...when he tells you that something hasn't affected you the way you tell him it has it is because he does not want to deal with it.

I'm sorry to tell you that you are not in a relationship...you are simply his support system. He will do only what he has to to get what he wants out of you.

Unfortunately unless he really wants to change no amount of counseling or otherwise is going to do him any good. We can always pray for a miracle though.
 

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