Re: I love my boyfriend, but have no desire... by docbonzai ..... Relationship Support Forum
Date: 8/16/2004 9:03:12 AM ( 20 y ago)
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URL: https://www.curezone.org/forums/fm.asp?i=666690
Although I agree with the majority of what AnnaBanana says, I have been in the EXACT SAME SITUATION AS YOU so I have some personal experience that contradicts one thing: if the desire, passion, and love don't fall into place within the relation, the whole relationship will become tedious. Yes, I'm sorry to say it. I was in a relationship with a BEAUTIFUL woman--a model to be exact. We were more compatible than any other relationship I've ever had, even to this day. However, there was no chemistry on my side, and no desire, and certainly no "in love" feeling. Thus, over time, the whole relationship became so boring that I would make excuses to avoid being with her. I didn't understand why I WOULDN'T want to be with her, but I didn't, oddly. Then, I tried to work things out by encorporating new elements into the relationship, and even taking time off, and a vacation away from here. It was all to no avail, as me just weren't meant to have that "spark."
If you can't find that spark now, it will never come, and your marriage will be one of the many marriages that works great on paper, but not in execution. Give a few things a try to convince, if not prove, to yourself that this is the case; then break up and move on. The hardest thing in life to understand is why we so often love those whom with a relationship cannot work, yet have a working relationship with those we cannot love. If you believe that there is a happy medium--some combination of the two--then you will find it.
I, for one, believe that this combination exists.
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