Date:   8/15/2004 2:53:47 PM ( 20 y ago)
Hits:   47,154
URL:   https://www.curezone.org/forums/fm.asp?i=666671

Hi every-one.

I have a problem with my relationship ever since I met my boyfriend. We've been together for 5 years now, but I never had desire for him. When I met him I always thought that I should break up, because I did not have the "being-in-love-feeling" with him. By this I mean that I did not fancy spending hours kissing with him and if we did kiss or had sex it was not a passionate feeling for me, it was just ok. However, because we got along so well apart from that, I never broke up with him and we stayed together.

Over the years I learned loving him and although he often suffers from my problem, we never gave up and tried to work it out with time. It now has become a real problem for me, because he is talking about marriage and children and I don't know what to do. I love him very much and think he is the greatest guy I've ever met. We have so much in common and get along so well, and he changed me for the better in many ways.... But when I think about marriage I get sad..sad for him and for me. I feel that in a realtionship the desire and passion should be present, but because it isn't I am fearing that it will break apart. The thing is, although I am aware of all this, I still can't let go of him, but I also don't get this feeling...........I AM SO CONFUSED!!! I am not sure if breaking up would be good, but at the same time I feel he deserves so much more than this!! I also feel that maybe with someone else I could be better, but at the same time I feel that I could never find a better partner... I feel like going round circles and that I will never find an answer. My boyfriend would never break up he said, he says he "would fight until there's something to fight for". I feel so bad for doing this to him, I would love to be his wife, but not with this problem.... Can anyone see what I don't see? Am I just being stupid and should go ahead and marrying him, because love is more important than desire, or is desire a vital part of a relationship?

 

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