Date:   4/26/2004 8:28:51 AM ( 20 y ago)
Hits:   1,078
URL:   https://www.curezone.org/forums/fm.asp?i=665854

I appreciate your bluntness and positive advice.

In the past when he backed off, I did go do "my own thing". I just felt that we had shared enough that it would be worth it to work on things with him. Evidently, I was wrong.

I wrote this post a full day after having my last communication with him, and I do pride myself in not having his cold "let's just cut our losses" attitude, because I could never be so unemotional about losing a friend, nor someone with whom I tried to make more happen. In other words, I pride myself in not being like him. But I am going to the ponder this for a little while because if anything I think there are stages to go through when you lose someone like this. It's sort of like an unexpected death? You are happy with them one day and the next day you have no further communication with them and no promise of further communication.

I recognize that I have to move on. That's what I'm doing! I have a move coming up and work to finish, and none of that is going to be affected. I'm also not losing sleep. But right now I'm going to question why people work so hard and then stop, and I am going to go through these phases of sadness and anger before I get over him completely. I think it's pretty natural to do so. I don't consider it clingy or needy, just normal when you lose someone.

I came here pretty anonymously because I was curious about whether anyone had ever had such a rash goodbye, and also to get any objective advice or insight as to why people say goodbye so quickly. Maybe it will give me insight about others that I need right now. Insight that will help me move on better.

Sure, right now I sort of hope that someday we can talk again because I think there were unresolved things in our relationship and that it cut off too short. Maybe in a couple months I will feel differently.

I'm not giving him the accessibility to me right now. As stupid as it sounds, I blocked him on the instant messenger service we spent time chatting on for so long, and no longer visit a message board where we first met. I have asked one of our mutual friends to just not mention me to him if they do talk. I feel that if he was able to cut things off so harshly, then that's what he gets. No knowledge of me or what I'm doing.

I guess in the future I hope things change, and he softens, and we are able to talk again, but I am not sitting here hoping/praying for that, or even expecting it. It would just be "nice" to have a bit more resolve when he is not so bitter and cold as he is now. But I do believe that a goodbye (esp. from him, a very cold person) was a firm goodbye. No matter any hope I have now that we might someday talk again, I realize that's probably not very realistic but at least it's some kind of solace about losing him, whereas otherwise there's not much solace or comfort around. Now in a few months if I'm still clinging to that hope, please do call me needy. Right now I'm just trying to figure out what went wrong since it only happened a couple days ago.
 

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