Date:   4/21/2004 2:42:05 AM ( 20 y ago)
Hits:   3,695
URL:   https://www.curezone.org/forums/fm.asp?i=665826

You don't need to feel guilty about other people's problems, but you don't know that. You need to know that. Right now, you don't. They use you, and you let them do it.

You need to divorce this guy and work on yourself for a while. If not, you will go out and repeat the same pattern again, and eventually end up in the same miserable spot. If you don't believe this, go ahead and prove me right. You will go and seek out the same sorry kind of loser again, whether you think so or not. Sorry if I sound arrogant, but I've seen this before. Go to your local women's shelter, or any 12 step program and talk to some of the women there getting out of bad relationships. You are not alone. You deserve better, and you need to allow yourself to so so.

Get some counseling, it will help a lot if you listen and take advantage of it. Somewhere along the line, you were taught to feel guilty for others shortcomings, probably they blamed you so they didn't have to take a good hard look at themselves, and you "bought into it" or were in a situation with no choice in the matter. What keeps you hanging around in this miserable situation? You need to examine that very seriously within yourself...

Do you think that you can "change" them? Sorry, hon... but you just don't have that kind of power. Maybe God does, but we do not. Face it.

Or perhaps you think if you "wait" long enough, they will someday magically change and get better. Don't count on it.

These people basically sound like leeches, and they will 'suck your blood dry' if you let them.

Before you will be able to make any real progress, you will need to get all of these people out of your life. If you try to "get better" or improve yourself while living there, they will drag you back down, belive me. It's as if you've become a threat to their dysfunctional behavior, and they will sense that and get defensive. All the dirty tricks will come out... fighting 'tooth and nail' with them. It reflects on them if you get better and they don't want to (which they don't) so they will drag you back down. Get out of there, get out of there...
 

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