Date:   1/23/2003 8:58:18 AM ( 21 y ago)
Hits:   1,300
URL:   https://www.curezone.org/forums/fm.asp?i=61569

So let me see if I get this --Firstly your respective families had some kind of conflict and that created a tense standoff between you and your girfriend.In fact it led to you two agreeing not to be together for the night, and you each went off with your own sympathetic folks. Why did you two allow the goings on with your family and her family to decide how you spent the evening? You both surrendered your power of choice and got towed along by family feelings!
Next, you got plastered -once again you surrendered your control and got out of control- chemically propelled!Then your girl called you( I would commend her for this -she cared enough to reconnect with you) However, because you were crocked, your lack of control over your fears and anger led you to abuse her.You lost control of your emotions ! So, then when she came by to get some stuff, you called in your support troops and to even things up she did the same.At this point both of you were in self-protection mode, not problem solving mode.You were both acting like scared children in adult bodies.They then did what most dysfuntional families do- they played the blame game and attempted to rescue and protect you -from what?
I see your problem as one of overinvolvement with your family and almost total lack of control of your own life.Certainly you have not left home emotionally.You and your family are still all glued together, and they will never 'get it'.The point is ,will you get it?
You cannot entirely blame your family, because you still pull them into your life and allow them to have way too much influence over your personal business. In the first instance it is YOU who needs to realise this and then you need to start erecting some boundaries between you and your mother especially. Of course that will only happen IF you are courageous enough to take sole charge of those things in your life in which you have involved them in the past. You probably need professional help to disentangle yourself from the nest.
 

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