Date:   1/23/2003 1:12:59 AM ( 21 y ago)
Hits:   1,220
URL:   https://www.curezone.org/forums/fm.asp?i=61566

I met a girl 8 months ago. When we started dating she was a lot of fun to be around, gorgeous,and a great personality. We both knew she was moving 180 miles away in two months but things were going so great(sign one...missed). I am the biggest non- supporter of long distance relationships because there is to much to worry about besides the long distance and when something arises it is hard to resolve But despite my better judgment I decided to go threw with it.

Now that we are into it 8 months it isn't going so well. It started when I needed a weekend to myself and she got upset. Her reasoning is that I have the whole week to myself and then twisted it and said that I just want time away from her. The truth of the matter was I knew I had to drive 1400 miles that week just for work and I really was starting to feel disconnected from my self I just wanted time for me. Is that to much to ask? Let me add that we see
each other every weekend. Which to me is like a pseudo long distance relationship even though the distance is there.

Sign two...Missed

I have made so many changes to be with this girl but a lot of them I did not mind because they were healthy for me and I thought it was sweet that she wanted me to be healthier. She is a personal trainer and she got me to quit chewing and to start eating better even though it meant not eating what I like. I am only 24 years old and I still enjoy the bars, I even met her in a bar, but now it is like pulling teeth to go to the bars with or with out her. Im talking like once every two weeks maybe twice. I am fresh out of college with limited funds and she always says I don't mind going to the bars but I don't want to go to college type bars a.k.a. affordable which I can understand but dont't give me a hard time for going w/out you. She likes going into the city for 5 dollar bottles of beer which is great but then there is driving involved as well as $$$$.

Sign three...caught a glimpse

She now seems to mock things I say and she marks them as "ritualistic". The other night I said "sleep tight and have a good day at work tomorrow". That is what I meant that is what I said but she says "Ok" in a condescending manner. So I ask her whats up? She says it just seems so ritualistic and more like a polite gesture. My question is if you don't know other languages and you are getting off the phone with your girlfriend because she is going to bed how many options of things are there to say?

Sign Four...read it don't want to deal with it

Then I noticed she stopped saying I love you so I shyed away from it and was going to give her an I love you when she said it first. Well I know that isn't healthy and the relationship is failing because of the lack of communication. But she pulls this: "why haven't you said I love you?" Well we communicate through it just fine until now when she isn't saying I love you anymore and is dodging the i love you I send by replacing it with Bye. My sign now is flashing in big neon letters but here is the kicker.

Sign five...sh$% I should have payed attention to the signs

In the beginning of the relationship she said she had cheated on a guy knowing he would find out and dump her because she couldn't do it. Well I don't think she is cheating but in a argument we had she said you know if this relationship is going to end I am not going to do it your going to have to. Well ball is in my court I need to be done with this relationship and gain back who I am. But it is hard for me because I know I am going to be painted as this big bad guy (she is to insecure to handle it anyother way so I have to do the dirty work) and she is going to be hurt when I know she knows the relationship is in reverse and going no where.

Lesson... deal with things as they happen DO NOT STOW THEM AWAY AND THINK THEY WILL FIX THEMSELVES

I am not a bad guy I don't want to hurt her but I know I need to break things off. I am at a point in my life that I need to worry about me and my well being financially and mentally. I know how to bring this up and it matters to no one else that I will be painted as an asswhole but me. But How can I exit the relationship with the hurt I already feel with out her painting me as an asswhole which will make it hurt even more. Now I am treading water and hoping the shark bite doesn't hurt so much...
Where were the signs LOL

Sorry this is so long but there is no one I can talk to that is unbiased. Unless I want to get myself worked up into a frenzy talking to people about it but I am the rational type that makes rational decisions not emotional decisions. Which my G/F thinks is a down fault (which it is sort of) but when all her decisions are made on emotion I am just the counter weight. Thanks feel free to e-mail me
xtremespeed79@yahoo
 

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