Date:   1/14/2003 5:15:20 PM ( 21 y ago)
Hits:   2,519
URL:   https://www.curezone.org/forums/fm.asp?i=61468

Hey! I see something (by experience) that you don't. Or was that a typo? Did you say something about knowing women platonically TWENTY years ago. When a person leaves you with a memory that is that old, and that memory is not a happy one, but one of ridicule and debasement (belittlement), then you are being TRAUMATIZED (and always have been since that event). REALIZE IT! Be more critical of your relationship and your position in it. You might notice yourself avoiding her at times because she is a PAINFUL experience. No decent person on earth wants to be avoided. Most people who are the kind of person that people will avoid, just don't know it and would even appreciate knowing it (if only someone would be so kind, loving, forgiving and humane to explain and point it out to them that they are BEING like that). Sit her down and explain that to her. OF COURSE it's not that simple. The catch is COMMUNICATION. Proper and effective communication is inconsistent with Human Nature. She will resist proper and effective communication, but will appreciate the sincere and GENUINE attention (no one else in her life gives her that attention). Keep the lines of communication open, it may take some time and you will be tempted to give up, but don't, you'll just be another dissappointment to her (subconsciously) like everybody else who abandons her. Do not let her feel GUILTY (only self-conscious and remorsefull so that she can make up for it by changing). If she starts to feel guilty, she will see that as an attack and everything will be destroyed. She IS conscientous, you just have to reach inside her heart and touch that quality.
 

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