Date:   12/6/2002 10:56:59 AM ( 22 y ago)
Hits:   1,250
URL:   https://www.curezone.org/forums/fm.asp?i=61415

My boyfriend and i have been together 3 years, i love him alot and can see us together forever...but theres this one part thats breaking my heart and i just dont know what the right thing to do is.

From more or less the beginning he has always searched for girls on the net, looking at profiles and talking to them sexually. Over the time he has apologised and gave me the same old crap 'i wont ever do it again' blah blah...i stupidly believe him all the time. I put 110% effort into our relationship, and i put trust in him over and over...i sometimes feel like i know deep down he doesn't want to hurt me, but if he knows he is hurting me, why does he keep doing it??

recently its gotten worse...we have just moved away from home together, which was supposed to be a new start. Just before we came...i found this big conversation with an older woman, it was very sexual..he wanted to meet her and ask if he could go round to her place so many times. she said no. she asked 'where is your girlfriend' and he said 'she dont matter'....etc..etc...basically, it was heart breaking...and i cant get over it. he says he wouldn't have actually met her, and he would never do it again.

I kind of half believed him...but sure enough when we moved away hes searching for people in the new town where we live??

so yesterday i come back from university and theres loads of p 0 r n on his computer...and so i get very upset. He'd been in bed ya know...doing things to please himself...over these p 0 r n sites. This just devastates me...i feel betrayed and so hurt and mad. he lied about the whole thing and said stuff comes up when he is searching for stuff on the net. later he admitted it.

He doesn't seem to care that i am heart broken. he just says 'stop wining' when i cry and try to talk to him.

The thing is our sex life is great, well so i thought....but this makes me feel sick and horrible. Is this normal, or am i over reacting?

i just dont know what to do. i dont know if i should leave, i love him so much. We have this house together, renting until July 2003. i just honestly dont know what to do and i have no one to talk to.

please help..
 

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