Date:   9/21/2002 11:03:45 PM ( 22 y ago)
Hits:   1,337
URL:   https://www.curezone.org/forums/fm.asp?i=61385

Hi over there, I understand completely what you are saying and it is the hardest thing nowadays to find half way decent people. But the only thing that I can suggest is the way I see relationships and men. Everytime I get to know someone I believe in treating them, both male and female equally. I see both men and women as my friends and I feel comfortable to be able to talk to a man like I would another girlfriend. And if you are really romantically interested in a man, then ask questions ask lots and lots of questions. In fact many of the men I have met love to talk about themselves, they love to be able to discuss serious ideas and opinions on life with another women only because it is such a rare thing these days for both genders to relate to each other. Think of things that are close to your heart, that niggle away at you and ask the man questions as to how he also sees things, to find out the core of his being. If you want a true, loving and lasting relationship with someone it is essential that you find out how they are as an individual. There are men out there that have been scorned by other women and don't want a 'fling', they don't want to give their love to someone and then be hurt afterwards. The advice that Pushkin and Josephine gave you is very sensible practical advice. And whats the rush anyways, if you have friends that are infatuated and happy now doesn't mean anything. The test comes with time and trials to see how things pan out. And for me to think of all the couples I know that have been so in love when they first met and then just hate each other as time goes by, why would you really want to rush??....Love should be something natural, not something to have to go out and hunt for. And too often people go out looking for mr. or miss. 'right', so they come up with someone they are physically attracted to, get married or live together for 'X' amount of years to find out that this person is far far from perfection. Some people are shocked at who they have married because they never bothered to find out who they really were in the begining of the relationship. They just think because of that attraction that everything else about the person is going to be in place as well. It is like falling in love with a character from a movie; it's an illusion. But often times when you find out how truely fine a person is you can't help but love them. So all I can suggest is to be patient and not to worry. Be your own woman, be your own person with your own definite ideas. Keep your dignity and self-respect and make sure that the men you are around have that same regard for you as an individual.
 

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