Date:   10/6/2005 10:49:58 AM ( 20 y ago)
Hits:   1,430
URL:   https://www.curezone.org/forums/fm.asp?i=610049

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So the only way to see several forums the person has posted on is to look for them in the search bar?

And what is curezone team forum? Is the curezone # 5?

Wren,
Are you SURE you don't want to go back and edit out your "comment please?" It really was a mistake--I wasn't thinking when I shared all my initial reactions to being told it was probably "entities'--but I didn't act on any of them--I was just trying to 'download' my feelings. If you noticed, I signed my real name, which I would have never done with my mind clear...I was so tired I was confused between emails and postings....

It was the wee hours of the morning...I'd slept my 3 hrs, (I try NOT to make a count--it only makes it worse, but when it is only 2 or 3hours, like is starting now, I remember! Last night was BRUTAL) Anyhow, back to that fateful night....I was just finally tired enough I thought "I can get to bed and try to get more sleep". I'd taken care of worries (note to my child's teacher, kitchen, curezone (so tickled to be learning so much) then I thought: I'll just check my email before I head back to bed. That was A BIG mistake, and even though I went back to bed...I coudn't turn my mind off.

Come on, how would you feel if Andrea said, "Wren, I sense there is a discordant, unhappy soul energy in you (entity) that often dominates your mind and personality." Chew on that for a moment. I bet it would really hurt, especially when you were sure you didn't. The first time(almost 7 years ago) a "healer" used his energy at me (I was going to hug one of his clients when she was crying in a healing circle, and he had an agenda for her and didn't want me touching "his" person, he pushed me away without even moving from across the room. This was at a catholic monestary, not that it matters. I was devastated. Healers are people too. They make mistakes. Maybe it would have been better for me just to post: "Dear Andreas. No, that's not it."
I did what I thought best, and I did note that the little girl in me reacted WORSE to what I called "your scolding" than his answer. Obviously, I still have issues....I'm a very reflective person, and I've been searching diligently whenever I am not in the deep hell of depression--I never know how long I'll be out. And when I go back in, I forget everything I've learned, and when I come out, I have to remember it/relearn it--it comes back little by little

The only sleep I finally got last night was an hour in a tub full of valerian root(yeah, it stinks, but I was desparate) .....and this morning an hour being put to sleep by Deepak Chopra on a video called Quantum Healing. I finally remembered it had worked last time. His voice is so pleasant it puts me to sleep, but then I have to wake up every 20 minutes to rewind.

So I'm going to do today with a total of two hours of sleep. I have a hormonal teenager, thank heavens my husband is out of town, and I'm my son's teacher. My nerves are absolutly raw, edgy as heck. My body feels like it's been run over by a truck. My digestion has stopped, and I'm still considering a liver flush. And I'll get through it--not perfectly, but grateful, knowing what would be worse--being depressed, and not giving a darn, just going through the motions, and feeling like life is hopeless.

Can't you understand how disappointed I was--one shot at Andreas help and not only did I not get anything helpful, I apparently lost a friend. Hanna, who was so helpful when I first posted two weeks ago today, didn't respond to any of my emails. Either she figures I have "entities" and she should stay away from me, or I hurt her feelings by expressing my pain over Andreas answer. (Who knows? but it hurts) A wise friend said I need to learn to judge myself by the intentions of my heart and then let it go. Haven't learned that yet, and I mourn the fact I lost a friend. Maybe two. And blundered into an old situation that I knew nothing about.

hey, when I can remember that I've overcome much worse over the last 11 years, I know I'll get through this. But I need to more than get through 'this'--I have to learn enough to prevent 'disappearing' again.

peace and joy--not yet--but soon
pj






 

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