Date:   6/29/2003 10:41:03 AM ( 21 y ago)
Hits:   1,865
URL:   https://www.curezone.org/forums/fm.asp?i=600815

23rd man,

What do you think? I have never gone to a psychologist...but when I was in the army a psychologist said I was probably crazy..but harmless...hehehe... Would you be willing to try to help me do reieki for some type of neurological transmitter problem I have recognized in me? About ten years ago...I became bipolar after my wife left me and took all my children. It was as if love did not exist at all on the earth. I was manic at times and seriously depressed at other times.
I liked that manic part in me...I remembered jokes...I laughed out loud...My mind was fully engaged in moments of "playful existence." Then I would become depressed... I am no longer bi-polar...but I miss the manic part I had experienced...It was wonderful...For several months, people liked me and everybody wanted to be close to me. It was weird and exciting. I had a temporary playful nature that made people want to come and visit me and hang out with me. I have spent the lat ten years more or less playing at life...but I am too focused on the plaing & and not on playful part. There is a difference between the two...Ibut I can't put my finger on what that difference is?
Thar plaful nature I had while I was manic is mostly gone...I have not had a non-intimate friend visit me in years.....There is some kind of clarity problem or fog in my mental faculty that I lost after I overcame manic depression...don't get me wrong...I don't miss the depression...I just miss people liking me and coming from all over town to drop in & visit me. Gosh I was funny then...My second ex-wife fell in love with me during that time. She has always missed that part of me when it left. She told me several times that she missed that magical part of me that I was during my manic/ Depression part of my life. I think that I have a spiritual condition that makes me take life too seriously...aspergers or some other neurological...or brain chemistry thing...I am very relaxed and laid back with people & espescially children. Some times I am too tough on myself..and when people get close to me maybe they are fearful of that "too serious" part of me?
I wish I could remember jokes again...It is like the person I was disappeared one day. ... I often feel a longing to be on the other side...but I am still here....Is there a way to get that manic part of me back without the depression? Or maybe that is just how normal people are? Can Reiki do that kind of stuff or do you think that I am stuck with this spiritual condition/nerological condition?

 

<< Return to the standard message view

fetched in 0.02 sec, referred by http://www.curezone.org/forums/fmp.asp?i=600815