Date:   10/29/2003 11:00:02 PM ( 21 y ago)
Hits:   2,501
URL:   https://www.curezone.org/forums/fm.asp?i=595084

That’s a very good question. I don’t know about everyone else, but I haven’t had sex of any kind for over 12 years. At least not until recently. I wanted to be true to my wife. I’ll tell you about the whole sorted mess.

I was brought up to believe that self-gratification was wrong. But I’ve always had problems with abstaining from it.

I learned that when my weight went up, my desires in this area went down. So I made it my goal to gain enough weight to completely crush this desire. It took a lot of work, and a lot of sickening things, like eating bowls of Sugar and drinking salad oil. Which I found completely disgusting. But I took my weight up to almost 400 pounds. And it worked. My desires went down to almost nothing.

But I was miserable. I still wanted to have sex. Even though I didn’t have the sickening pain in my groin area and lower abdomen, I still had the desire. So I started letting my weight go down. I just stopped doing the things I was doing to keep it up. And as the weight came down, the urges came back with a vengeance. And reading about all of the other people that have been playing with yourself, spanking the monkey, I started doing it. And it helped a lot. But I still want to have sex with a woman, real sex.

So now I have to decide what to do. I still don’t know. My weight is down to about 250 and still falling. My weight should go back to about 175, or at least I hope so.

I don’t know if I’m going to keep playing with yourself, spanking the monkey, or just go out and find a woman who will be my lover. Of course, what woman would ever want to be my lover? Can you imagine any woman actually wanting to be my lover? I can’t. What a mess.

T
 

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