Date:   10/29/2003 9:20:27 PM ( 21 y ago)
Hits:   7,718
URL:   https://www.curezone.org/forums/fm.asp?i=595082

rationally, i would say. maybe in a letter?
that way you can go over all the points you need to address and they won't dissaper in the heat of the moment?

ask yourself tho, how well do you know him? how long have you had the relationship?

is it a constant selfishness or is he just trying to meet his needs first? are you witholding or have you been a doormat?
what is he doing that is selfish? all the time?

if all the time, then GET OUT OF THE RELATIONSHIP.
if sometimes then he might just feel like he needs to overstate his needs that maybe he's not getting met or 'feeling' like he's not getting them met?

it's hard to say cause i don't know the whole situation.
a relationship is about the needs of 2.
i've been in controlling relationships where i've actually lowered my standards...it got worse and i got very messed up by it. i am now recovering from it all, keeping out of relationships till i deal with my own needs, rather then putting others first all the time.

most times people get into relationships to meet their needs. it has to be mutual. you still have to meet your own needs a lot tho, no one can do it for you 100%. but you know that.
you need to tell him how you feel, but not in a blaming way..somehow. maybe he just needs you to speak up cause he's unaware of what he's doing.

hope this helps, good luck!
 

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