Date:   10/18/2003 1:25:54 PM ( 21 y ago)
Hits:   1,940
URL:   https://www.curezone.org/forums/fm.asp?i=594895

My boyfriend and I knew each other for only nine months with me as a healthy person. It was wonderful, magical, we fell hard and fast for each other. People would look at us and say, "now THAT'S what a relationship SHOULD be!" And we both knew it.

The only two things that I can think of that rubbed me the wrong way a little bit were:

1) He was/is very private about his past relationships. He told me that he doesn't understand why other couples feel like they need to tell each other everything about their past relationships, he doesn't think these things need to be shared.

(I could kinda see his point, it just was so different from all the other relationships I've had where we DO tell each other everything!)

2) He would never tell me I was cute or beautiful unless it came up as if it were a fact that needed to be stated in order to get another point across --even this would be difficult for him to say. Never just in a romantic way to make me feel attractive to him or anything.

(This was very different from other relationships I had in the past, but I figured that maybe he loves me for MORE than my looks, which was something I was really wantig.)

MOVING ON. After nine blissful months together, I came down with a chronic illness (severe candidiasis, EBV, Parvovirus, food allergies , chronic fatigue.

It's been four grueling years of trying everything under the sun to get better to no avail (although I think the Liver Flush is my tick out of this hell now.)

The first two years I lost tons of weight and got down to 90 pounds at 5'4". My boyfriend has been the most loyal guy, sticking by my side.

However, he gets REALLy bored if I ever even mention one sentence about my illness at this point. He's just sooooo sick of it all (naturally!)

The last year and a half I have been gaining gaining gaining weight for unknown reasons. My diet hasn't changed, in fact, I hardly eat a thing and I keep on gaining. (I have recently become aware that it is due to a fat intolerance since my gallbladder isn't working properly, since taking bile salts is the only thing capable of temporarily halting the gain.)

Anyway, my boyfriend is not handling my weight gain very well. (I am 5'4" and weigh about 130 pounds --but I have gone from a size 1 to a size 10 in pants!)

He is not attracted to me ånymore and when I confronted him about it he said it is like the last remnant of the ME he used to know is fading. (since my personality has become more depressed and worried all the time). He does say that he still loves me and that he doesn't want me to leave. He breaks down into tears when I even suggest such a thing. (not a man who cries here.)

I notice that when I leave out grains from my diet and am NOT Liver Cleansing (i.e. when I feel fairly good) it brings out the HIM that he used to be with me. I can tell he acts a lot nicer and happier with me.

But when i am sick or scared HE gets really distant and seemingly resentful of me. There were a few times I had to be taken in to the ER and whenever I think I feel like I'm dying his response is to YELL at me (because he gets scared.)

I do not need this treatment!

It's HARD to be sick and to have to act like I am happy and everything is okay in order for HIM to be pleasant with me.

By the way, ever since he admitted to me that my weight gain really bothered him, there has been ZERO action in the bedroom. How could I be intimate with him when I know he sees me as ugly?

And when I heal my liver/gallbladder problems and lose the weight, how will I feel about him wanting me again? Will it seem unsettling that it is so conditional?

What would any of you do in this situation?

 

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