Date:   9/20/2003 4:50:30 AM ( 21 y ago)
Hits:   7,300
URL:   https://www.curezone.org/forums/fm.asp?i=594775

I'm usually don't advise to the complete strangers but your story sounds very familiar. My friends ( we're in early 40s) had similar problems and not one couple.
"What can I do to return that lust in her? " Definitely not threesome. First of all. All marriages go through very special crisis cycles. Usually it's 1st, 5th, 8-10th, 16th year of marriage. It's ok..it doesn't mean you don't love each other anymore. If you both understand you're at some low level of the cycle just find the right way to deal with this. What do you do when you are tired after a long working week? Somebody sleeps on the couch for 12 hours, somebody goes to garden, somebody wants to be alone and just stare at the wall.. Our biological, emotional clocks work like long waves.
Second. Women more often than men have mid-age crisis and I know many women who left the husbands, destroyed the families at that moment and thought it was time to start all over. It's hormones, man. Hormones that dim temporarily all our moral values. Children are grown up,work is more or less stable, mortgage is on half way to be paid off.. Unfortunately 99% of them are not happy and think they made a tremendous mistake.
I'd suggest you both read about both topics and discuss it in friendly manner, even in the circle of close friends.Many prefer an expensive counceling but I say- friends. The ones you trust the most. Trust me, you are not the only couple in the same position but I don't mean to colect them in your house and discuss your wife's problems.Something tells me your wife is discussing it with her friends already that is normal for women .The communication is the key and I believe after 15 years you can be quite open with each other.
By the way, when one swingers couple offered us their service my husband said no matter how much fun it sounded he doubted that the bedroom was for more than 2 people at a time.
Don't try to make her jealous, it works with opposite effect.Don't pay attention if she's very irritated, more than usual. Be there for her silently, don't argue please. Bring flowers from time to time, just because. Make her laugh. Maybe a new haircut, more stylish pants instead of old jeans?
As for sex- find a book ( or books) of Ruth Dickson.Any! You'll be surprised how it can spice your sex life.

Good luck!

 

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