Date:   7/3/2004 9:48:48 PM ( 20 y ago)
Hits:   2,666
URL:   https://www.curezone.org/forums/fm.asp?i=56487

My friend (Kay) of fifteen years has always been a part of my daughter life, until two months ago when I informed her that my daughter could not come to her home anymore and that her foster daughter could not come to mine.

It all started when my daughter was two, that is when Kay started taking her on shopping trips and spoiling her. When my daughter would come home she would misbehave. I didn't think anything was wrong at the time, I just told myself that she was very tired. It just got worse as she go older. So I told Kay if she took her shopping not to buy her anything. Well that didn't work.

Then when my daughter was 4, Kay’s foster daughter came into our life. I thought now she'll have a playmate, and they became best friends. She was happy for a while, but then the behavior became worst then ever. Anger, bedwetting, and even doing #2 on the floor. She started eating a lot and gaining a lot of weight. She is now 6 and wears size 12 pants.

I found out that the foster child had been abused by her parents and then sexually abused by a nurse at the hospital she was in. I was not told this until my daughter and her had become good friends. One day my daughter came to me and told me that she and her friend touched each other, I calmly told her that it was not right and never let anyone touch her there again. I spoke to my child's doctor about it and was advised not to stop the play dates as that may be more harmful, that she would feel that she was being punished. So I told Kay to supervise them more carefully.

I thought things would get better, they didn’t. I finally told Kay that the kids could not play together any more that my child’s behavior was getting out of hand. I hoped that she would understand, I was wrong.

Not only did she not understand, but said if my child did not want to be toughed she should had said no. She went on to call my child’s behavior atrocious. I was not the one calling all the time asking for them to get together, she was and believe me I said no lots of times.

I am still shocked that she would blame my little girl for what happened. She also ended our friendship. I still see her now and then and it is hard. My daughter can’t understand why she can’t talk to Kay. I don’t know how to explain it to her. I do not want her to blame herself or keep things from me in the future so as not to loose her friends.

I still have no idea if anything bad happened to her before the foster child came. I guess I’ll never know.

My little girl is happier now, she does not throw temper tantrums anymore, she’s not eating all the time, even the anger has gone. I just wish I had followed my heart years ago when she started crying out for help.


 

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