Date:   9/6/2002 10:03:23 AM ( 23 y ago)
Hits:   7,023
URL:   https://www.curezone.org/forums/fm.asp?i=56200

I am new to this;
I am seeking some insight into the needs and complications of a relationship with a new girlfriend that has been molested as a child.

I am a male that has just started a “friendship” with a female that was molested as a child. We started to get to know one another and then started to date. The first night we went out on a date she invited me to her place for drinks. Well one thing led to another and then we went to her bedroom. She froze up when we started to become intimate and said that she could not do this. She and I talked all night as we lay beside each other on her bed. She told me her father hurt her and many men had since then. Then she told me that she did want to hurt me and that she did not deserve to have a relationship with a nice guy like me.

She continued to ask me out for dates and accepted my invitations, even asked me to go to her mother’s summer home for a few days. But every time I start to touch her she pulls away and says that I should just be her “friend”. She said that if I wanted to “just have sex” we could but I did not want to take advantage of her.

She later tells me that I am “just too nice”. She repeatedly sets me up to spend the night at her apt. and sleep with her (but no touching allowed). I feel that she wants me to make love to her and then leave her - abuse her like her daddy did.

I have not and will not - because I feel that in doing this I will change myself and hurt her at the same time.

I really don’t know how to feel, I love her. She is unlike any girl I have dated and very special to me. I told her this and she seemed to pull away more.

Please help me if you can,
I don’t really know what to do at this point, should I leave her before I get hurt even more or should I just try to be her friend and deny my own feelings for her?

If you where an abused girl or are in a relationship with one please share some insight.

Thank you very much.

 

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