Date:   12/19/2004 12:54:51 PM ( 20 y ago)
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URL:   https://www.curezone.org/forums/fm.asp?i=559010

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I know there are about a billion topics about the anal odor already (and I was quite surprised to find that there are other people out there with my problem). Regardless, I figured I'd explain my exact situation, as it may differ somewhat from the rest of you.

I first became aware of my problem when I was in seventh grade, so I must have been about twelve years old at the time. I am currently eighteen. I was in a cooking glass, and a girl in my group just flat out told me, "Your butt smells." I had never really noticed it before, and didn't really notice it that much immediately after that, either.

However, as the days progressed, I did begin to notice it, and all the way up until present day, it seems to have been getting progressively worse. First of all, I don't have any extreme Body Odor s in other areas. I generally don't have bad breath, even when I wake up in the morning, and whatever minimal armpit odor I have is easily controlled with a little bit of deodorant/antiperspirant. And anyway, those odors smell like normal B.O. that everyone is subject to--in other words, they don't smell like sh*t.

My anal region, on the other hand, is quite the different story. I can always smell it, and quite frankly, it sickens me. My life has been nothing but endless misery for these past six or so years. I did at one time have a girlfriend, but I quickly broke it off as I couldn't stand the embarrassment anymore (whether she had ever had a chance to realize such a horrid stench was coming from my behind, well, I don't know). For the past four years, I have been madly in love with someone whom I had the chance to be with, but made the choice to pass up such an opportunity due to the unbearable shame my little problem brings me.

Somehow, I still have a ton of friends, none of which have ever mentioned my problem. About a year ago, I mentioned it to my mother, and with a puzzled look she told me that she had never noticed it before. She bought me deodorant wipes, but, of course, they didn't do a thing. I really don't think this problem is superficial. I always wipe with baby wipes to the point where there is nothing showing up on them, I shower once or twice daily, and yet, immediately afterwards, and even while IN the shower, I still stink.

I have always had bowel problems, and it would only seem natural that these are the culprit here. I'll give you an exact run-down of what I suffer from. Each day, I wake up in the morning either having to quickly run to the bathroom with diarrhea, or, I just sit on the bowl for awhile, constipated. As soon as I'm about ready to leave for school, I suddenly get those very sharp pains telling me that I have to go, and so I run to the bathroom. I am usually able to go a little bit, and as soon as I start to go out the door again, the pains are right back, and I have to repeat the process. Many times, I'll make it to school, and have to miss half of a class because I'm in the bathroom for twenty or more minutes.

Having these sort of alternating diarrhea/constipation symptoms, I came to the conclusion that I may have irritable bowel syndrome. My uncle has it, and my symptoms sound quite similar. It seems that most things that he eats throw his stomach into upheaval, triggering a rather lengthy visit to the bathroom with a painful bout of diarrhea, and the same appears to be somewhat true for me. When the pains come on, they are absolutely unbearable...the kind where you will sooner sh*t your pants than sit and try to endure the excruciating pain. However, my uncle does not smell like sh*t, so IBS cannot possibly be the leading cause for this most life-degrading problem.

Also, no matter what, I always feel like I have to go to the bathroom. My stomach is constantly grumbling, my bowels constantly aching, and I always have that feeling like something is there waiting to come out, and yet if I sit down and push, I'll generally get nothing. I've also noticed that I sweat quite a bit in that region, though whether sweat is present or not, the odor remains the same, as far as I'm concerned. During the school day, I usually go into the bathroom three or four times a day just to wipe up sweat. Now that I think of it, it may temporarily decrease the smell for a brief period, though it never eliminates it. Everywhere I go, I have to constantly make sure nobody is walking behind me. I have to come up with reasons for teachers to move me to the front of the room so that I don't have to walk up and down the rows past people.

Thanks to all of this, I generally spend my days alone. My friends and loved ones always invite me out with them, over their houses, and so forth, but I'm constantly finding myself having to come up with new, convincing excuses to avoid social interaction. I'm beginning to think that the IBS, if it is IBS, came about from the inevitable damage that has been done to my nerves from all of the nervousness, anxiety, embarrassment and so forth that I deal with on a day-to-day basis.

I'm going to be graduating from High School this year, and while I will no longer have to face the shame of walking through crowded hallways with sh*t-ass, next year will bring me a brand new dilemma--college. I'm going to be living in a dorm room with one or two other people, and I'm certain they'll figure me out and, well, things won't go very well. Next summer, I'm supposed to be going to Japan for three weeks, and I'll be living with a Japanese family for five days. How can I allow myself to live in someone else's home like this? How will I ever live a normal life? Marriage? Children? Success?

Everything I have ever aspired to is instantly destroyed. I can't do anything. Each day I cry thinking about all of the years of my life gone wasted thus far because of this, and all of the future years that will surely be wasted just the same. Junior prom, senior prom, senior trip, all of the various dances, dating, parties, and all of the little things that are supposed to make life so enjoyable. All of the things that make life worth living, I can't have because of one seemingly incurable physical ailment I have been cursed with. I'm constantly asking myself, "Why me? What did I do to deserve this?"

It's all so very complicated. I'd never even think of attempting to see a doctor for this, as I'm far too nervous/scared/paranoid. That is both for the odor and for the possible IBS. All I can think about is how they're going to shove some sort of tube in my rectum. And this is coming from a person who needs to take some sort of benzodiazepam just to visit a doctor for a physical, or the dentist for a cleaning.

I'm a wreck. The only thing I've never considered thus far is suicide. There has to be hope. I'm a strong person, but there's only so much one man can take.

I don't suppose anyone will be able to help me, but even if you just read my story, I thank you.



 

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