Date:   7/9/2006 5:42:18 AM ( 18 y ago)
Hits:   5,657
URL:   https://www.curezone.org/forums/fm.asp?i=536649

Having been all through that same thing, I know how you feel. I used to feel stupid myself because the signs were there. Why did I not see it? I finally realized that when you trust someone, it does not occur to you to look. I trusted my spouse totally and the affair did hit me like a ton of bricks. Takes a long time to get back to a normal life and stop hurting so much. But you will never again trust that man totally again. You just live with it.

Now, as for why (in my case). I did eventually get to know the lover and my wife had convinced him that I was mostly gay and was totally mean to the kids and her. When he decided to do some research he found out the truth. He also stated that if I was anything like what he had been lead to believe, that he would have absolutely no remorse.

I remember a study done by Dr. Joyce Brothers a long time ago about sailors going out to sea. The results of the study was that if the wife was going to cheat, then she was going to cheat. Her husband's absence had nothing to do with it. The ones that remained true to the spouse, would do so in any circumstance. Same is true of men.

Librastar, you obviously are trustworthy to a fault. You see the world thru your own eyes. When you can be trusted, then you tend to trust others. I know that is how it happened to me.

Hang in there and keep improving yourself and realize just how lucky you husband is to have you.



 

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