Date:   10/26/2004 2:58:18 PM ( 21 y ago)
Hits:   1,090
URL:   https://www.curezone.org/forums/fm.asp?i=506514

Hi Tracey,



...a little background first........yes, I am in love with a man that is married with children, and he is very much in love with me...he "says" he's 'happy" at home, and that he "loves" his wife, but he knows there are things wrong or he wouldn't have fallen in love with me (yes, we've spoken about it many times)-he has very little emotional intimacy at home with his wife, even though he says they have great sex, and supposedly a happy home....oh well.......(he also loves his kids very much!)...but he and I are compatiable in every way, especially in our hearts and he is able to open uup his heart to me, which he can't do with her...but, he has been feeling lots of guilt about this, (I understand) and so now he wants to kind of "break -up" and of course I'm dying, and he must be dying too....he still calls me every few days (we have been together for 7 mos.) and since he really loves me I don't think he'll be able to REALLY break away, and as "wrong" as this is, I hope not! I do actually feel sorry for him, he is really trying to do the "right" thing, and yet he doesn't really have any emotional closeness with his wife, and he's so hungry for that....it breaks my heart............

SO:.......................................


with that small background knowledge....here is the dream I dreamt this morning........(just before I woke up).......



It opens as I am sitting in an arm chair in my mothers living room (now, she died in 1988 of cancer) talking on the phone to my sweetheart. First, let me say, that everything in the living room was EXACTLY the same as my mothers living room was, EXACTLy! (which I think means somethng)...my mother was standing to my left, about 4 ft. away from me, holding my second born son when he was about a yr. old (which would really have been 19 yrs. ago)...her hair is still the same as she always wore it, and my son (who is now 19) looked exactly like he really did look when he was about a yr. old. She was just holding him, kind of looking at me, but not to listen or anything...just sort of looking into9 the room. She was standing in front of the t.v. (not completley because I could see that the t.v. was on) holding himm and kind of rocking him. (like I said she wasn't facing the t.v., she was facing me). The feeling in the room, and in the "air" was fine, normal, nothing bad or scarey or depressing at all. I was on the phone with my sweetheart, and he was telling me how he had spoken to Carol (his wife) and that she had said ...."why don't we get a divorce, and that way you can be with _________-(my name) - and see how it works out, see what happens....." and apparetnly it was very friendly between the two of them, no anger (that stood out to me).....which of course would be nuts!......I very vividly remember him being SO HAPPY, he was feeling SO FREE finally! Free, now, to be abble to tell me how he felt (you see, for many months he always told me how he felt, that he loved me...but then about a month ago, he started feeling to guilty and felt as though he couldn't say that anymore, which of course, made me very sad, but he would always still re-assure me that he still felt the same way).......so, now he was telling me again, just like I remember him to be, feeling much more free, that he loved me very much..and wanted to be with me...etc.........just like it used to be. The "free" feeling was so prevalent! so, freeing, I guess....so lovley! he always loved freedom, he is a dreamer by nature, and so am I, so we connected so easily and quickly from the very beginning and that's what he loved so much,that we both loved 'freedom"........so, now, he was so happy because he was "free" and began telling me how much he loved me....(his wife, just for some background here, is much more practical, she isn't a dreamer at all)...........so, we were just talking and I remember thinking..."divorce"????????/ (remember he said to me on the phone he and his wife had been talking and she suggested a divorce so he could be with me?)...well, I remember very vividly looking at myself sitting in that chair on the phone (as if I were standing in the room looking at myself - but, when he was talking, telling me how mujch he loved me, and how free he felt now, THEN, I would be really on the phone with him....not looking at myself from outside myself)....and thinking "why divorce? you're not even married...." and seeing myself make a kind of wierd confused look while I listened to him say that.....in other words, the "dream me" knew he wasn't married to her, as if they were just dating (with kids!!!!...LOL).......so, go figure!..LOL.........so, that's it - it just fades out,with me talking to him, him telling me he loved me and you could hear the deep desire in him to be with me (which I always used to hear) and he was feeling so "free" to tell me how he felt....what a great feeling!....and my mom still standing in front of the t.v. (which was on) holding my son......(and by the way, it's daylight out the windowns,,,,if that matters) and it fades out (not "to black"....I just slowly wake up with tht most wonderful, dear, sweet feeling from him and then realize I was waking up)....and that's it. - I should include, my mother was the same age basically as she was back then, which was 57 yrs. old, and still looked exactly the same, so did my son she was holding, and I younger than I am now, yet, I was supposed to be me now...(although there were moments when I'd be looking at myself from outside myself, and I'd somewhat look like I would have back then...when my son REALLY WAS ONLY A YR. OLD)....I hope this is not to confusing here,,,,although i fear it is......LOL


Let me say, i do believe this dream has significanse!

there are many who would just tell me "it's just a dream"..which I don't believe anyway.....or t hose who would say that I dreamt that bcause that's what I so desire....yes, I do desire that with all my heart (and actually, I think he does too).....but, I realize that....no, this wasn't that kind of dream,....no, I firmly believe this dream has some kind of meaning, significance here........Tracey, just for the hell of it, I should tell you that I have such a strong feeling he's going to knock on mmy door sometime soon, and I'll open it, and there' he'll be!.....I do't know, it's wierd. Whcih practically speaking, wouldn't really happen because hehe's trying to break it off with me (slowly).... it's something in the soul, something between the two of our souls that's connected....you know?


O>K> Tracey,......thanks so much for all your insight....!!!!






 

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