Date:   9/28/2004 9:10:05 AM ( 21 y ago)
Hits:   2,257
URL:   https://www.curezone.org/forums/fm.asp?i=506380

Hi, Marj

I tried to post last night but lost the post. It's funny you ask if I have any comments cause I do, but I was holding back for Tracey's response.

I think it is key to try to get to some of the underlying beliefs, as Tracey suggested. I think writing like that will really give some insight.

I wanted to share some personal experience that might help you too. I have been introduced to two forms of self-dialogue that have really helped me get a lot of insight and some emotional healing. They both address identifying underlying feelings and expectations. One is identifying what we are feeling in the moment, and exploring to see if we have any unrealistic expectations that we are judging ourselves against.

I kept questioning myself whether I "should" send this post that I created yesterday. I'm gonna go ahead and take the risk and send it. It is what's in my heart and it is genuine.

This is where it started:
Also, you ask how can you erase the past? I have been questioning how to approach my past as well, as it keeps coming up detrimentally in the present, and what I've come up with over time and others help, is maybe it is not so much to be erased, eradicated, or buried. As it is part of what made us what we are. Perhaps it is to be embraced, accepted, grieved, healed, and transformed. It is part of us, is it not? Except we can choose how it affects us now, or if it even does. For example, we can bring love to the situation in the Now, transforming it.

Some people may disagree with me and think it is rehashing hurtful experiences. It is, but only to heal them once and for all. If you have been really hurt in your childhood, as I have been and I suspect you have, that child will continue reaching out to us, being afraid, reacting with the same sabotaging patterns, trying desperately to express itself and get our attention. It doesn't know any better way. And so it seeks external methods to comfort itself, like addictive behaviors. It got stuck in its development because it was never comforted in a loving manner, and so doesn't know a healthy, loving way to comfort itself. All it is seeking is unconditional love and acceptance. We can love them now. I am seeing this new relationship with myself as a sacred gift.

Sorry, I tried not to get off on that tangent but it is what's in my heart. I too am struggling with these issues. I get caught up with all this 'choice' talk. Yes, it is our choice how to live our lives. But there is something going on very deep within us, there is a step here that some people just haven’t experienced that relates to letting go to make room for the new. And that’s OK, they just haven’t had the same lives and lessons that we now have. What are some steps that make letting go possible? Acknowledgement, grief, forgiveness, compassion. Before letting go, we must make peace with that which we are releasing. That may be where some of us get stuck temporarily.

I have begun to explore inner child work. There are many books available that have processes. It is recommended to do with a counselor or therapist familiar with this type of work. If not, one needs at least stable support that will not, in any way, minimize the person’s experience. What is involved is acknowledging where in our development the wounds were incurred, what messages we internalized, how we may be expressing these messages today, and what we need to heal ourselves from them. Often this may involve processing feelings of pain, shame, abandonment that we were not able to make sense of and resolve in our young lives. We couldn't handle it at young ages so we hid them under lock and key, yet they still leak out in self-defeating behavior.

There are other methods similar to this approach. I think any method in which we can identify our true feelings and find out what is feeding them, is a step towards true self-knowledge. We can only heal what we see and feel. I think Neuro Linguistic Programming is somewhere in this area as well. All of these methods get to the root of our formerly unconscious motivating thoughts and transform them at a root level. We can learn to let go of our shame and fear-based motivations to ones of self-love and self-acceptance.

It is hard work but I keep being called down this path. For me, inner child work is a start. I am in need of much love and compassion from myself, after many years of destructive self-talk and feelings that I don’t deserve much else. It is all I’ve known until now so I must be patient with myself along the way.

Oh, boy, what a journey!

Love
Lori

P.S. Tracey, Hally, Elly, Anthony, Keason and anyone else that cares to respond, what is your opinion on my post? Obviously I recognize deep patterns of shaming within myself that I am trying to heal. When it comes to the topic of acension, I question this approach, however. I feel like some 'New Agers' look down on emotional processing, as if we want I will follow my heart in the end. But I'd like to discuss with you. Do you think there are more progressive ways to heal this stuff (besides cleansing)? Something is calling me to these methods, however. Maybe it is necessary for some of us still in the "3D" existence, it will help us transcend once and for all.....we are stopping the chain of dysfunction, in other words.

 

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