Date:   1/20/2005 6:39:32 PM ( 19 y ago)
Hits:   1,619
URL:   https://www.curezone.org/forums/fm.asp?i=499534

n/t ©†ƒ……•™¼‡_Original_Message_¾€š½ž¢«»¬ï°©

let me just say Karlin you and me we got a connection here i think. i don't mean that in a queer way cause I know i seem like a queer.
may i talk about myself here because i can't talk to anyone in real life, all the terrible hurt and hate i have inspired has been given back to me to the same degree i gave it. Usually it's even come from the same person....no universal karma sort of stuff to this, just direct, cutting thoughtless words traded on both sides. and they gave em, believe me, they gave em, though they don't know it.

can i tell you about the evening i just had. my coworkers invited me out to happy hour with them. i stayed late to go and bring one along. we went in and though it was promised to me drinks were for free i accidentally ordered one which the bartender said I would have to pay two dollars for. so i paid my two dollars. i went over and stood near my coworkers for a minute, noone spoke to me. so i wandered away and just explored the bar for a few minutes I came back and people were meeting people and talking and stuff but I turned and left.
i'm such a weirdo but i love them all right now. it was very nice of them to invite me along.
there are two times in life when i love everyone and feel like i could forgive and ask forgiveness of everyone i've ever gotten to know and everyone else as well and one of those times is when i'm happy and one of those times is when i fantasize about ending my life. we try though, just got to keep giving it some time and it won't seem so bad as now.



 

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