Date:   10/13/2004 3:43:57 PM ( 20 y ago)
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URL:   https://www.curezone.org/forums/fm.asp?i=491590

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Dear Andreas,

I have recently been focusing on my tendency to guard myself from expressions of love, both giving and recieving. I have a very sensitive soul (not emotionally unstable, but I find myself quite affected by my environment), and I think that I have over the years developed a defense mechanism of guarding my heart to avoid being constantly reduced to emotional chaos by our very overwhelming society. So, I understand and accept why I am so guarded, but I am ready to let my guard down. I have learned to change my environment instead of myself, and I finally feel supported by my community. However, I still have a really hard time expressing my heart's emotions. When trying to speak from my heart I become really choked up- like the emotions can't physically get past my throat. When I meditate I can feel the energy block in my throat- I know I need to work through it , but how?

Not only am I having trouble expressing love and other sincere emotions, but I resist recieving them as well. When someone else cries it immediately reduces me to tears as well- this makes me uncomfortable, and so I find myself avoiding such emotional interaction. In my heart I want to let more love in. I want to form close relationships that are emotionally honest and nurturing. If I meet a potential life partner, I want to be ready to recieve and give love. Do you have any suggestions for me?

Also, since I recently moved from New York to a little cabin in the mountains, I have considered adopting a dog. I grew up with a dog who was my best friend- this may sound odd, but I communicated with my pets far better than with my family, because I felt unconditionally accepted by them (I have a wonderful family who is very loving and supportive, but I often feel that I dissapoint them with my unconventional lifestyle and beliefs). Anyway, I have been living alone for a few years now, and I would really like to have a companion- I also think it might help with giving and recieving love more freely. But I am concerned about caring for another being. I would not want to feed her processed food, but I am a vegetarian, and also do not want to prepare meat for her. Can a dog be healthy on a home-made vegetarian diet? And what about all of those shots? I take full responsibility for my own health, and I do not eat meat of take medications or go to doctors, but making those decisions for another being makes me nervous. I would appreciate any advice.

Thank you so much.

With love,
Lila
 

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