Date:   9/23/2003 9:16:58 PM ( 21 y ago)
Hits:   1,624
URL:   https://www.curezone.org/forums/fm.asp?i=452657

First of all I want to say that I was really touched and heartbroken by your post because I went through a very similar situation not too long ago. It is not only you going through this.
I discovered my boyfriend was watching p 0 r n movies behind my back when I accidently came across a couple of them in his drawer while I was putting HIS laundry away. I was devastated! Why does he need to look at that when he has me? I felt cheated on, and I don't care what anyone says about how "normal" it is supposed to be for men to do that. Maybe when they are younger and curious....but once they are in a relationship I see no reason for them to be looking. They make women that they supposedly "love" feel like we have to compete with unrealistic images of other women, and like they want something else and we are not good enough.
I truly believe it is unnacceptable to GOD, and a form of adultery. "Thou shalt not covet.....". What a man thinks in his mind is powerful, even if he didn't actually touch someone else, he is doing it in his mind. It still feels almost the same to us that they have to look, because that tells us that they desire other women, which is close enough to cheating.
Honey, I feel for you and believe me I know how it feels. Luckily for me I was not married or had any kids with my boyfriend, so I dumped him and he has not even tried calling me to get me back...and it's been 3 months. And we went out for almost 6 years with him always telling me how much he loved me. So I have no idea what his problem was and my heart is broken, too, but I at least know I did the right thing. He defended his p 0 r n and called me a bitch for being "nosy" and finding it. He told me all guys do it like it's no big deal, but if it's no big deal then why do they hide it from us like they are doing something bad?? They're obviously ashamed. And they will also lie like dogs about it. Your situation is much different than mine since you are married with children. I will be praying for you, and I hope your husband will realise how much it hurts you and get rid of all that garbage. There is a lot of info on the message boards of the lifetimetv.com website under relationships about p 0 r n. Some of it really helped me and I made a great friend with another woman through those boards. Check them out.
I also hope any men that are reading this will realise how much pain they cause the woman they love by doing things like this. Please someone explain to me why if a man is in love that he still feels the need to look at p 0 r n o g r a p h y.
 

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