Date:   1/23/2006 7:48:56 PM ( 18 y ago)
Hits:   2,299
URL:   https://www.curezone.org/forums/fm.asp?i=431924

I can empathize with your thoughts (both of you ...). I think what you both say is very true. When one is able to live day to day - in the moment - one does seem to be able to be more human, more in touch with oneself. Also, when one is in a crisis - one's senses are heightened and there is a sense of aliveness that is difficult to match. After living thru such times, I finally understood the bond that war buddies form with one another -- and also why some men consider their war experiences some of the "best times of their lives." Somehow in the insanity that war is -- the life/death reality of it all can force one to the top of one's being.

Humor often is a catharsis for pain and/or anger. So Depression certain wld bring it out -- mine was highly cynical. Unfortunately, it landed me several worlds below where I wanted/needed to be -- and thank God I recovered. Men seem to have a gift for being able to laugh at the absurd -- I have never fully developed that capability and I have always felt somewhat humor challenged in this world. I dont seem to relate to what a lot of people find funny -- so I have never quite zeroed in on having lost my sense of humor as I emerged from my years of Depression -- but I think you have made an interesting observation.

I work with children now and so I feel fortunate to be in a job where I am more able to be myself --- Most jobs, particularly working with other adults (or grown-ups if you are lucky) can be very difficult on self-expression. Most jobs require a heavy duty mask.

and to get at what you are saying in another way --- the men in my life I have been most in love with were men who lived way outside the mainstream -- spent time homeless, went from job to job, -- they were basically, in some sense, wild, untamed, not totally "civilized" .... Its very hard to maintain a home, family, job, etc in today's world and be able to balance that "uncivilized" part of oneself with the part that has to deal with modern civilization. I hope you can, or have found, that balance.
 

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