Date:   7/7/2002 8:20:45 AM ( 22 y ago)
Hits:   2,645
URL:   https://www.curezone.org/forums/fm.asp?i=41999

I am not really sure Dr. Schulze will receive this post. When I have more time, I will look through some files and see if I can find a better way for you to contact him.

How well I can relate to your very open and very honest post. I agree 100% with what you are saying because it happened to me. My 1st husband, as well as his brother, could never be faithful to their marriages. The first time it happened, my children were small and I blamed myself. He moved out, filed for divorce, then, after several months wanted to come back. Thinking all of it was my fault and if I could just be a better wife, I welcomed a second chance. Two years later, it happened again, but with a different woman. He filed for another divorce and moved out again. This time I began to wonder about him. But, after almost a year of him begging to come back and how I was the only woman for him, I let him back in. For six more years, I stayed. There were other problems--alcohol, double personality, etc. But, I believed in mariage and wanted it to work. When I saw it never would, I left and ended the marriage for good. His brother's wife did the same thing a few years later.

What his other women did in my life was destroy my self esteem for many, many years. It also destroyed my trust forever. Even though I am now remarried to a wonderful man who is faithful, it will always be in the back of my mind what happened to me in my 1st marriage. I resent the baggage I have brought into my marriage.

Oh, and what happened to my 1st husband? He continued his pattern with other women. He stalked me for many years trying to make my life miserable. He then turned his anger to my daughter. She ended up marrying a man just like her Father, although, through counseling, they have come through a lot and he is a better man for it. My son, harbors a lot of inward stuff about his Dad and the divorce. My 1st husband began spiraling downward after the divorce trying to find his ultimate happiness through women and alcohol. In the end, a nine year affair with a married woman ended with him pulling his vehicle into her driveway and in front of her children, he shot himself. I guess his exit out of this world he wanted to make as dramatic as possible. The sad thing was she told the police that investigated the suicide she had no idea who he was. What an ending to a tragic life.

My children have coped with all of this the best they can. They are very strong individuals with families of their own. It will soon be a year next month and I am sure it will very hard on all of us. But, we are all very spiritual and believe in the power of prayer and it does help. I have gone through a unbelievable amount of guilt trying to sort out the "what ifs" but I try to "make the least of what is past and the most of what is to come."

Sorry to make this so long, but you stirred up a lot of thoughts about sexuality. For women, the actual sex act that a man commits outside a marriage means very little. It's the closeness and the sharing they do with that other partner that kills our soul. We never get it over it.
 

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