Date:   10/27/2004 5:31:20 PM ( 21 y ago)
Hits:   2,232
URL:   https://www.curezone.org/forums/fm.asp?i=411944

well, usually i don't think much about whether i should cut or scratch myself or not... i kinda just do it. usually i'm just thinking about life and about the things i can't control. i'm a control freak and when expectations get too high or if too many things change at once i feel trapped and i dont know how to express or let out what i'm feeling. i try to explain it to people but i can't get out what i really want to say. cutting, scratching, and biting myself is my way of letting it out. for me, it's not as much seeing the blood as it is seeing a mark. in fact, when i first started i told myself that i would stop before it bled. if it started to bleed it was too deep. but i soon realized that it's bad either way. i feel the urge to cut usually when i'm by myself and don't know what else to do. i think too much and start getting anxious and worry about everything. it's when i feel boxed in and trapped. when i feel like there's no way out, i cut. or scratch...whatever is more convinient. but it's been 9 days since i last scratched myself. hoping to go longer. i'm just trying not to be alone so much. does that help you w/ your writing?
 

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