Date:   4/9/2005 1:51:23 AM ( 19 y ago)
Hits:   1,378
URL:   https://www.curezone.org/forums/fm.asp?i=389111

Hmm, where to begin? I'm not sure I have a problem at all, well, a "clinical" problem. I go on binges and I eat until I'm stuffed, even during "normal" meals (unless I'm at a restaurant with people I'm not totally comfortable with). Unless I *have* to leave the house I'll stay in all day and eat (with the excuse that I have to study, though my eating usually takes up most of my time).
I go through phases every few months when I throw up my food. However, I tend to give up on putting my finger down my throat to "heave" it up, as I end up with indigestion and I regret it. Instead I just lean on my stomach and "bring it up". What I'm trying to say is that I don't think of myself as bulimic because I don't do it all the time and I'm not desperate enough to do it if I think it will make me feel badly.
What has prompted me to finally say something to somebody (yous guys, that is) is that lately, I've been eating a lot of Sugar and other things even though I don't really want to. And it's not even like that desperate feeling you get when you're on a binge when you like, black out and it's all you can think about. I'm not even depressed. I feel fine, it's just the end of the semester and I am stuck at my computer a lot and don't really have time for the gym or socializing right now. When I think about what I'd *actually* like to eat even, it would be like, a nice salad or something (not that I'm in the least bit hungry, full even) but instead it's a whole box of cookies, a pint of ice cream and a chocolate bar. I feel like I'm punishing myself for something. It's weird.
I'm ok when I'm going to the gym and I'm active outside the house (though I do remember throwing up at times like that too), but I'd like to be able to have a study session or sit at home for a while without being pre-occupied with food.
I don't know why I'm saying all this...I've never said anything to anyone before, and I may have had an eating problem and Depression in the past.
Um, one more thing. I tend to feel really good when I'm on some sort of restrictive diet. I guess it just saves me from deviating when I know just what to eat, and I also think I just like the consistency. The problem is that I can't seem to work out a diet that would be the same every day (or at least every week)that is healthy. I did the soup diet (veg soup, baked potato, bananas etc) recently and loved it, but obviously one can't stay on that.
Phew. I'm not sure if I even have a question here (except maybe the diet thing). Maybe someone has a comment. Thanks for reading this anyway.
 

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