Date:   8/1/2005 10:07:31 PM ( 19 y ago)
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URL:   https://www.curezone.org/forums/fm.asp?i=379144

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I have soooo many things that I want to say..this is a great thread.

I'll have to go back and reread and see if I can articulate all of the things that I want to express. But one thing that I did want to ask you is about clearing...
That is a term I remember reading about with scientology and I'm just wondering what your thoughts about Scientology and the methods the use in clearing.

I do absolutely know that I was AFFECTED/IMPRINTED with many unconscious beliefs as a child. It was maybe not as overt as Desi's situation but pervasive...too much death, immaturity of adults, poverty, anger, alcoholism, sickness, escapism, and disregard for the mind of a child to young to understand what was going on around them.

What I do recall is a knowing of this truth that you speak of. When I was a younger woman...I recall calling someone to love into my life. And my thinking that I knew that I called him into my life. I made a request..with very specific recommendations...I know that sounds strange. But it was so. To the look, behavior, and the way I would meet him.

But after 2 years...I started becoming confused...in what I wanted...and after my mind/fears took over...he left...and I tried to control, and figure out life..and ponder the meaning of life, and etc. etc. etc. Changing my mind a million times as I stayed almost out of body, letting the "world" tell me what is so and not so and losing all power to create....All along however, I know I was looking for truth. Asking questions like, how does one know what is right, who is right, how to find your passion, should you do this or that because of this or that...what is proper, correct. And I must admit I was constantly thinking...that is what I want, no that over there, no I know it is this or that. My mind had taken control of my life, I was no longer FEELING my way through but thinking my way though...a throwback of what I had to do in my youth to stay safe, to figure out what this means or that means or what was coming next.

Somewhere in there however I thought I was on a spiritual quest..If that makes sense.

And also somewhere in there, I found the love, beauty that I wanted. But it was in my mind and spirit only. Not in the world but in my imaginings. A sad place to find it. Isn't that what depressed people do????

I'm rambling now, so I'll stop, I hope some of this makes sense.
Darlene
 

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