Date:   11/11/2004 9:26:05 PM ( 20 y ago)
Hits:   8,412
URL:   https://www.curezone.org/forums/fm.asp?i=378439

Hello all
I've come to this forum hoping I can learn to support my husband and understand him better. He was raped by a 15 yo boy when he was just 10.
He told me about this after we were married and I did not manage to give him the support or understand the implicit cry for help embedded in his telling me.
Our marriage almost ended and he brought my failure to help him up as one of the reasons that we had got to that point.
I did not discuss it with him and help him work through the issues. When he told me about it, I felt embarrassed and that I would be intruding on private pain if I were to refer to it, but of course I would listen if he wanted to talk about it. I've only just learned how wrong that response was almost 15 years ago.
I've been angry with his treatment of me in the relationship and felt that he has possibly been suffering from depression. I never realised the events were linked.
I had a wonderful childhood and appart from someguy jerking off in a car, trying to get me in the car when I was about 14, nothing bad ever happened to me. Our marriage councillor says this is a story he does not hear often. So I have no experience on how people really feel about this and how they should be supported.

Help please - I love him.
 

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