Date:   6/23/2006 10:36:15 AM ( 18 y ago)
Hits:   9,522
URL:   https://www.curezone.org/forums/fm.asp?i=378384

My brother committed suicide when I was 29 (he was 30). It was an intentional overdose and his suicide note was addressed to my mother and the day was my father's birthday. I'm now 52 and have grown up suicidally depressed since my early teens. Eight years after I went to my brother's funeral, I woke up expecting to meet my brother for lunch. After ten minutes, I realized I couldn't. Ten years later, I was taking a poetry class and had to write something for homework,...ANYTHING that might resemble a poem. After 2 nights (5 hours) of sitting in front of the paper, I found a word that was meaningful to me (I didn't know why). The next night after an hour, that word became a sentence (it still didn't make sense). Ten minutes later, the poem was finished (it was still a mystery why I wrote that). The poem was about a fantasy funeral and the memories I wish I had of an imaginary buddy. The next night, I had a dream, but when I woke up, I couldn't remember any part of that dream except the only thing in the world that mattered,...my brother smiled at me.

Mourn well so this doesn't happen to you. This poem came from my subconscious.
---------------------Moonbeams and white lights-------------------


Moonbeams are silly things, like white lights when you're dead, But in fate's truth, their mystery is shown,
They're made of memories of life and pain's mirage, a buddy's farewell and a vision of fright,
From youth we traded stories of storms and defeats, agonies and glories.
We accomplished our dreams, suffered our miseries,
We trembled from nightmares and conquered our fears, We laughed and cried, had heartaches and headaches, Stood tall and proud as an invincible team, Till twilight's grasp made His flesh like ice,
And the tears could only mock the heartache I felt,
But now I understand those moonbeams and white light that shine on Him, they're all my memories of Him.

--------------------

Depression is very misunderstood. I think it only happens to sensitive loving hearts that can feel disappointed by the corruption of this world. Your brother must have been a wonderful person.
 

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