Date:   12/20/2004 7:12:15 PM ( 20 y ago)
Hits:   1,205
URL:   https://www.curezone.org/forums/fm.asp?i=377460

Hey - amazing that you are on day six!!!! Keep it up, as getting beyond the initial craving stage is the key! I know when I have committed to quiting for even 2 weeks, thinking becomes clearer, and I feel totally in control.

For me, it always feels that life gets in the way of my being sober. I know that sounds like an excuse, but I have an incredibly stressful life, and also a very "successful" one. It is hard for people to believe that I have a problem, although, I'm thankful in most ways for that.

Mostly I have come to the conclusion that society is totally screwed, and that 90% of people are out to get you, or one of my loved ones - really sick of this crap! I know that sounds totally paranoid, but I've had my share of crap lately, and I just can't believe how evil and manipulative, and cruel and sick people can be! How do we deal with the outside crap and still get well???? Mostly I drink to just shut it all out for a few hours, but I know it has become totally unhealthy for me!

I haven't reached bottom, ever, and I still have control over my use, but, I'm so sick of having to deal with this stress. Oh yes, I know that I should be "doing something" to deal with stress, but at this point, and for some time now, it is just easier to drink, and shut it all out for a few hours! "Doing something" just feels like another HUGE stress in my life, another thing on my plate to do before I go to bed, something I just haven't gotten done on my "to do" list for the day, which believe me is already outragiously enormous!!!!!

Anyway, I'm venting, so thanks for listening, and thanks again for your kind response. I wish you the most success in your struggle, and POWER in your fast and getting clean - clear thinking, self-nurturing POWER!!!! You can do it!

dragongirl
 

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