Date:   10/2/2005 8:19:15 PM ( 19 y ago)
Hits:   1,567
URL:   https://www.curezone.org/forums/fm.asp?i=370635

yeah... the irony of the whole thing is that in an effort to have something in my life that i have control over, the disease is such that shortly the disease begins controlling you- yet again leaving me with another aspect of my life in which i am the pawn.
i have very little self control, and that is something that i wish i could change- i don't know how to. i feel that if i were able to be in charge of myself and my own behavior that i would have the upper hand in most aspects of my own life. i know the concept sounds so elementary, but in my case, it's a very hard thing for me. it's very embarrassing to admit that i have trouble with things that children learn how to master. i'm almost 31 and i am having to learn a lot of simple things for the first time. i never learned them the first time around. i comfort myself by telling myself that at east i am making steps in the right direction- no matter how silly i may feel, i am not going to let pride keep me stagnat. i am choosing to become an active participant in my life, and i no longer want to let life just happen to me. i believe that the Lord will help me on my journey, and i am excited to see where He takes me.

 

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