Date:   9/27/2005 2:58:41 PM ( 19 y ago)
Hits:   6,755
URL:   https://www.curezone.org/forums/fm.asp?i=370633

My God...Re-read your message and see how it sounds...Because that`s the real problem, not if youre gonna fit into your previous size clothes.
Ive just come back form Egypt two sizes bigger than I was 18 months ago...I did it...I wore my bikinis. Stood loud and proud and enjoyed the rays, the Red Sea and the admirers I accumilated along the way.
Im bulimic, and living with it. I struggle with going out of my front door if there are people around...Cos Im huge...fat...wobbly. Im not really hugely overweight(in the real world) about 10lbs, tall (which I suppose helps.) But of course Im screaming to be slim...Im *dying* to be slim and if I reach old age I will suffer with tremendous aches and pains for wanting to be slim, I know that, I do my homework!! I diet and dont, I watch what I eat and dont. I pray my child will not pick up on my eating habits, but may.

Ive excersised to extreme for hours a day, 6 days a week. Ive reached my goal and looked exceptionally skinny, but nothing happened. Yea, I could wear *anything* I wanted. I could pull jeans down without using the zip. I wasnt **happy**...I know Im not happy with the weight that has gone on to unwanted areas since, but Im gonna live with the fact that I am *me*.

I was fostered, but it didnt work...I dont know any of my birth family (yet)...There is only me and my child. I owe it to him to keep things on an even keel...To watch how I behave and lead him towards the right path in life. Who knows what the future holds, but in the meantime I will carry on being me and not beng the person society wants me to be or how any man, friend or associate assumes I should be and live my life in the real world.

Size shouldnt matter...but deep down it does, but if people dont like me for who I am, well hey they can gtf!!

I
 

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