Date:   8/31/2005 12:03:30 PM ( 19 y ago)
Hits:   6,943
URL:   https://www.curezone.org/forums/fm.asp?i=370591

I don't actually have an eating disorder. I compete in pageants & most girls can't maintain their size all year & it's common for us to crash diet,(ie: short term starvation), which is why a lot of us get significantly bigger during the "off-season," but I am happy with my weight even when I'm not a 3/4, I just need to be that size for the competition. I know that can be as unhealthy & bad for you as anorexia, but I'm actually struggling right now with that anyway. I have repaired a lot of past damage that I've done to my body by eating better. I've been trying to go all-raw for the past 6 months or so, & it's a difficult transition for me because I do have issues with food. I have a tendency to do great for a few days & then ruin it all by binge eating for a few days (I never purge). I wanted to do this weight loss in a healthy way, so believe me when I say that I am disappointed in myself for not being more disciplined earlier, so that I could have avoided this issue of starving altogether. Since I am struggling so much with how I want to go about this, I keep entertaining different notions about what the best way to lose the weight would be, because I have to lose the weight. That's just how it is. Every single detail, ripple, and jiggle shows up under stage lights, so if I want to be competitive, I have to be thin (there are girls who take it too far & get down to skin & bones, but I've never been one of them). However, I have lost 10 pounds & did it by eating nothing one day (I know a lot of the loss is water, but I do look better) & eating all raw afterward. I know it's not healthy to starve, but if I can lose 10 pounds in as many days by frequent, short fasts & eating limited amounts of raw foods in the meantime, & still have energy to work out moderately, I think that's about as healthy as I can get when you have a goal like mine. Of course, after the pageant I will be resuming normal eating & hopefully it will be mostly raw. I'm sorry if I made some of you sad by sounding too extreme. I actually am surprised about that, because some of the other messages on here talk about much more extreme issues than mine. But regardless of how my practices are perceived, I do appreciate the concern. Thanks.
 

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