Date:   2/19/2006 10:11:13 AM ( 18 y ago)
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URL:   https://www.curezone.org/forums/fm.asp?i=358918

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"You came on with specific questions...and I'm afraid that "I" am the one who made
things go downhill."

Wait, where did anything go downhill? People sharing thoughts that you don't fully agree with, is going downhill?

I don't know about the others, but my little "rant" about IQ (which in essence was about a whole lot more than just IQ, there is a whole other message "in between" the IQ-talk if you care to see it) was in response to our anonymous friend's mentioning of both IQ and (the general idea of) being gifted. Seeing your talk about IQ did add to the overall "feel" of the thread, of "IQ" being ONE of the topics (out of a few different ones!), but you certainly weren't the "cause" of all this "downhill" talk of IQ and "new age" mumbo jumbo... so you can "relieve" yourself of that! ;)

Also, I might be wrong about this, but it seems as if you're writing with the idea that you're the only one suggesting he actually DO something to help his sister, but actually some of what you're suggesting is nearly exactly the same as what I've suggested, just in different words. For example:

"Your sister is probably in a rutt...and you may be the only one that has noticed and
cares enough to try to help her. Please encourage her often...but don't go overboard and turn her against you. Just start by complimenting her on this or that. Start slow and soft and move forward from there."

I basically say the exact same thing, just in more detail.

But I also say that the only person that can really change anyone, is themselves, and that you can't necessarily "do" much to change anyone. This means that, ULTIMATELY, it's up to each individual to choose how they want to create their reality. This DOESN'T mean that you should just say "oh well, there's no point, it's up to them anyway" ... you should still follow your heart and do what you feel is "right" or "best"! Because, while ULTIMATELY it is up to each individual to choose for themselves, most people are still taking their cues from "outside", and so the things you say or do, or choose NOT to say and do... or even simply ACCEPTING someone as they are ... can have a great deal of impact. Just don't go into it with "expectation" of changing anyone, or you'll just end up getting frustrated, because it totally depends on whether or not that person is open to change and self-examination. All you can do is do your best to give what you can as you feel best -- whether that be love, encouragement, words, gifts, whatever. Then it's out of your hands... it's up to the other person to accept those things and allow them to penetrate and to start creating change. You can't do ANYTHING to "flip" that final "switch" in them, only they have the authority to do that. You can leave abundant "gifts" on someone's doorstep, but you can't make them open the door.

Yes, we absolutely should do whatever we can to help friends, family, even strangers! Because as you've said, not only does it have the possibility of affecting that person, but it also greatly affects YOU. As you do what you feel is right to help others, you're also creating and defining yourself and YOUR reality! You're simultaneously defining AND expressing WHO YOU ARE. Whether you work through the heart, or the head ... or the foot? :) ... makes no difference. Use whichever you feel most in tune with. I personally lean more towards the head. But don't let that -- heart OR head -- be the sole decision maker. The heart is blind and foolish, the head is cold and mechanical. Let *WHO YOU ARE* be the primary guiding force, regardless of what method you use to express it!

You seem to have something against "scholarly" types, and I'm not sure if you're including me in that (I'm assuming you probably are, since that seems to be a common opinion about me!), but if so, why? Am I not speaking from my own experiences and observations? Am I just quoting from some dry new age literature? Is it my writing style? Am I just "thinking" too much? :)

What is it that makes you perceive of others as "scholars" (err, sorry, *trying* to be "scholars" ;) , and yourself as not? We're all learning, aren't we?

It certainly isn't the LENGTH of the posts, as you seem to post just as long as me or some of the others here .... I don't know whether that's a good thing or a bad thing, hehe ;)

--James!



 

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