Date:   5/24/2003 2:47:31 PM ( 21 y ago)
Hits:   1,329
URL:   https://www.curezone.org/forums/fm.asp?i=331172

Oh My God. I've never felt this way before. Me and my boyfriend of 7 months have broken up, and I feel like dieing. I've had boyfriends before him, but none have reached me the way he has. He truly loved me, and I ruined the relationship... totally.

I have always been slightly paranoid, because i love him so much i think, and we've broken up before, but it was always me who broke up with him, this time he has broken up with me and i think its final. We were friends for about a year before we started going out, and when we did, it was the best relationship either of us have ever had. He's not an amazingly good looking guy, i always used to be a girl who would go for a guy for looks, but my Jack was different, I loved him with all my heart, and part of me was proud that i fell for a guy, and the love of my life was someone i wasnt JUST attracted to. I love him but I never really showed it...

One of my close friends fancied me, and i never knew how to act upon it, I didn't want to cut him out of my life because he WAS a good friend, but i didnt want to make things awkward between me and him, me and Jack, or Jack and him. Things built up and last week someone very close to me in my family died, and my loving, caring boyfriend who had been there for me all through the time leading upto my loved ones death was a little bit insensitive about it... i was really emotional, i broke up with him... but we got back together and i thought we were fine. A week later, i asked him if we were ok, and if had done the right thing in getting back together and he said he didnt think we did, and that he didnt love me anymore. I can't comprehend someone who said so many things, made so many plans, the person who brought love into this relationship could take it away so quickly.
Anyway, he was upset one night and i invited him back to mine... stuff happend, we didnt sleep together but i wish we had, because it is so special when we do. But he said he still didnt know how he felt about me, but that he definately didnt want a relationship with ANYONE because there is too much headshit, and he couldn't take being hurt by me again. I got understandably upset, and i just was full of emotion, he pushed me off him, and i swung my arm, which hit him in the face, and i have never seen him so angry... he told me he hated me and wanted me out of his life, I dont believe him, and all of his friends say he is just being dramatic and obviously doesnt mean it... but that i should get over him.

I dont want to people. I love this guy more than i have loved anyone or anything in my life, i would give anything for us to get back together, and I just dont know what I have to do to get him to talk to me again. I've apologized profusely, my brother said he sounds confused and i should just leave it for a few days or weeks or whatever and then talk to him... but every time i see him i just want to die. He said he's never thought anyone was more attractive than me, and he loves me as a friend (that was before the crazy accidental hitting thing) but now i am just going crazy. His friends say he hasnt been himself at all since we broke up, he acts like he is, and he THINKS he is but they know he's not. So what? he still cares...? Its not as if my single life would be lonely, I dont like blowing my own trumpet but i have always had oppertunities to get into relationships and i wouldnt find it a problem to fnd someone and just pull them... but thinking about being with anyone else makes me feel like throwing up. The same when i think about him being with anyone....

People, how do you get over the love of your life? And... if anyone out there is a great believer that true love never dies, what is it a person does to get their love back??? Sorry if I've rambled :( I would be so greatful if anyone could help... xxx
 

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