Date:   4/3/2003 6:07:01 PM ( 21 y ago)
Hits:   1,016
URL:   https://www.curezone.org/forums/fm.asp?i=331042

Hey, there. I'm sorry to hear about your father. Truly you deserved to be acknowledged for your loss.
This man that you're talking about. It sounds to me like you weren't expecting him to behave the way he did. Your reaction is typical of someone who has been through something like that. You've invested a lot, and it appeared you were going in the right direction, but you were emotionally ambushed. I don't know what changed in him, but something did. I'm going to be brave and make some very general statements about men. I'll do my best to disqualify, because I'm not encompassing all men. I'm just trying to help give you a skeleton to start building on. There are certain men that do not handle 'weakness' in others very well. These particular men are chronic 'boys' who want to play all the time and lack the ability to control their own impulses when they're supposed to. Often you can coast through a relationship relatively free of emotional crises, maybe even for years and not see their true colors until you really really need them. They could appear a little self-centered to you at times, but nothing out of the ordinary given the differences in the way that men and women in western civilization think. Being modern thinking women, it's easy to beat ourselves up for how we could miss such a serious character flaw, but these particular people slip through the cracks easily. You can't be on your toes 24/7 for all the rogues in society, otherwise you wouldn't have time for anything else. Because we have to function and we have responsibilities, that is why we miss things like that. Don't beat yourself up, but do honest introspection. Keep posting and we'll let you know if you're being too hard on yourself if it's too hard to sort through yet. Okay. Take care.
 

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