Date:   4/1/2003 1:03:42 AM ( 21 y ago)
Hits:   931
URL:   https://www.curezone.org/forums/fm.asp?i=331022

Ok guys, time for another update. I broke down and called him last night. I saw on the news that our mutual friend's unit was in iraq, and they had killed over a hundred people. So i called him up, because i thought he should know. And of course, i also wanted to hear his voice. So i talked to him for literally 2 minutes, and he asked me if there was any other reason i called. I said no, and we got off the phone. So today, i ran into him at work pushing a cart down the hall. I stood in front of him, and put my arms out and said-- You'll have to run me over if you want to get by. I don't know what posessed me to say that, but i got a laugh out of him anyways.

So a couple hours later, he shows up in my department, saying that he didn't understand why i was being nice to him. He said that i was giving him--get this-- mixed signals. He said that he was hoping that when i called him yesterday, it was to ask him to get together and do something. He said that he still wanted to spend time with me, and whenever i was ready, he would be there. I told him that we had done this twice already, and when we started talking again, it messed with my head, because i didn't know where i stood. So we talked for awhile, and i acted really content with how my life is going, and he looked really depressed. He told me i looked good... that i must have lost more weight. (By the way, i've lost 75lbs in the last 9 months) So anyways, we ended the conversation with him telling me yet again that he wanted to do something whenever i was ready.

So, like, 10 min later, a guy he works with comes up and sits down next to me, and says-- So when are you and ed getting back together? And i said-- i don't forsee it happening any time in the near future. And he says-- You don't want to get back with him? And i said-- He never asked me. And he says-- So if he asked you, you would say yes? So i told him that i didn't know. So he proceeds to tell me that he hasn't been the same since we broke up, and that he's depressed all of the time. I tried to be as vague as possible in everything i said to him, because i didn't know if he would go right over and tell my ex.

So what's up with all of this? I know he's thinking about me, and he wants be back in his life. But the other two times, i've decided to break contact, and he's come to me however much later, and said-- Let's do something. And I did. But i can't do this again. I can't just hang out with him casually. Anyways, if i do that, he has me in his life, with no strings attached. He doesn't have to make a committment. He doesn't get a chance to really miss me. So honestly, what do you guys think is going on?
 

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