Date:   2/19/2005 10:20:33 AM ( 20 y ago)
Hits:   1,210
URL:   https://www.curezone.org/forums/fm.asp?i=268286

I've enjoyed all of these posts. I hope you folks won't mind a "non-AA'er" posting here. If so, I'll post on the other site.

Unfortunately, those folks are a bit delusional. In my opinion, (for me) the supplemental approach is essential, but we all know there ain't no supplement that'll automatically eliminate the psychological grip of addiction.

Shadow: when I read your comments, I think: "I could have written that."

Nearly every day--once or twice--the thought comes: you're far enough out, Dave. You could probably drink moderately now. It's just one drink. This time is different somehow. Besides, no one would know.

I still feel as if I'm standing on the edge of a precipice, that one wrong gust, and I'm over the edge again. (Does it ever get easier?) EVERY day, I have to reconfirm my decision not to drink. Frankly, it's not that hard to do, in spite of some hellish days since December, but the fact remains: I have to do it.

My daughter has asked me repeatedly: Have you started drinking again?

I've told her I refuse to lie, and I mean it. If I start drinking again, I'll admit it. And I will. But it's that fear, that I know I'll have to be honest that has made all the difference. I don't want to have to admit it. Besides, even if I tried to lie...she's a smart cookie. She'd know.

Today, I ran ten miles with my running group. I couldn't have done that if I'd been drinking. It's a good feeling.

Dave


 

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