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Re: Leave Husband? by #39477 ..... Divorce Discussion & Support Forum

Date:   2/27/2005 2:15:29 AM ( 17 years ago ago)
Hits:   2,916

well it's been almost a month- what's the story now? are you separated yet? haha.. I hope you're still hanging in there.

The last two posters were clearly men...and although they did bring up some very valid points, I also see your side of this predicament (mainly concerning the infidelity). Yes, people rush into marriage too quickly and yada yada yada, but bringing that up now doesn't exactly help your situation now, does it? Jeez- those guys and their guilt trips...

I am shocked that you had only known him for 5 months and didn't pick up on any of these annoying traits...this guy must either be a millionaire, or he must've worked REALLY hard in the beginning to win you over (while also blinding you to any of his less than appealing characteristics)... but now he IS your life partner, so it's your job to WORK to make this relationship work. Marriages are not supposed to be have to accept his character flaws and try to balance him out. Overall, it doesn't look like you have any justifiable reason to actually divorce him... I mean, this situation is not even close to being bad enough to divorce...that would just be a copout. All you need is a little tweaking in your relationship. Is this guy really THAT serious? You make him seem like he's this stern man who keeps to himself, stomps around ignoring what everyone else has to say & never cracks a genuine smile.... I know that he MUST have a soft side and I'm sure there's a way for you to gently mention things to him, like how it bothers you when he doesn't consult you before making big decisions, or how you want him to go out with you a little more. Doesn't the sad puppy dog face work? haha. and right now, since he's working and you're not, maybe you should be more lenient with him not helping you clean and cook...
is it really that bad? try to find the joy in everything in life... besides, there's not enough time in life for complaining. hehe

As far as the disloyalty goes....I absolutely don't think you should divorce him because of one moment of betrayal. It wasn't even an ongoing affair. You shouldn't feel bad about it anymore though, you can let it go... everyone is constantly faced with temptations in one form or another, and you happened to give in made a mistake, that's okay..get on with life. If you're actually contemplating getting together with another man though, you should really ask yourself what is making you think these thoughts. Obviously you're not satisfied with the attention you're getting from your husband so you're seeking it elsewhere...maybe you should make an effort to become more intimate with your own man. Is the problem that you two don't understand what you want from each other, or that you aren't willing to give him what he needs...or that maybe you're too clingy & overemotional? who knows.. only you can figure all that out. but I'm sure your relationship can be salvaged..unless of course, you're just completely unattracted to him..which won't improve with age. Maybe you should ask yourself if you can you see yourself having kids with this guy? If the answer is no, and you want children, then maybe you're not in the right place. but otherwise, I think there's hope...

good luck!

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