To Create a Balance__ at The Turiya Files

To Create a Balance

BELOVED OSHO, THIS MORNING IN THE LECTURE, I WENT SO DEEP THAT I WAS SURE THE BODY WAS GOING TO DIE RIGHT THEN AND THERE. I BECAME VERY AFRAID AND STRUGGLED BACK TO THE SURFACE. NOW I AM AFRAID IT WILL HAPPEN AGAIN. WHAT TO DO?

Saguna, you are a fool. You should have allowed it to happen. You missed a great opportunity. If at any time you again start feeling that you are dying in my presence, die immediately! That means your ego was on the verge of disappearing and something tremendously valuable was about to happen. You missed it.

But the first time it happens that way to everybody. One shrinks back in fear, escapes back into his ego, clings, holds. Where can you find a better place to die? If you can die in my presence you will attain to life, eternal life, life abundant. If you can die in satsang, in the presence of the Master, you will be resurrected.

But that courage has to be there. Gather your courage, and next time it starts happening, let it happen.

Felix Simons was a nice guy but a social flop. Although he was thirty-five, he had never conquered his childhood habit of bedwetting. Finally, one of his friends told him, 'Look, Felix, you might as well know the truth. We're all very fond of you, but nobody can stand to come into your house because it smells, and you're driving your wife up a wall. Why don't you see a psychiatrist about your problem? Enuresis is not too uncommon and it can be cured. Get it over with once and for all!'

Felix was convinced. After six months of treatment he ran into the same friend.

'Yes,' answered Felix, 'I've been seeing a psychiatrist three times a week for six months now.'

Psychoanalysis helps only in this way. It makes you proud of things you have been guilty about. Religion has created guilt in people. Psychoanalysis has moved to the other extreme - psychoanalysis is a reaction to religious guilt. This has to be understood.

Religion has done a great wrong to humanity. It has wounded the human heart by creating guilt. It lives on guilt - the whole religious world. Hindu, Christian, Mohammedan, these are only different names for the same trick - how to create guilt in people. Once you have created guilt in people, they are caught in your net; you can exploit them. Guilt is the spider's net. Make people feel guilty and they are in your power. Then you can manipulate them. You can force them to surrender. You can force them to do things for you, for the church, for the priest. They are guilty. They are afraid they are going to suffer, they want to find a way out.

First create guilt, then they are bound to come to you, because they will have to find a way out of guilt. Then tell them to pray, then tell them to do some ritual, some mantra. But first the guilt has to be created.

Two persons were doing great business. They were partners. The business was simple. One would enter a town in the night and throw coal tar on peoples' windows, and after two, three days, the other would come to clean. And he would make it known in the town that he knew how to clean coal tar from the windows. By the time he had cleaned the windows, the other would have prepared another town for him. Then he would go to the other town. They were doing really great business. They were partners.

Religion depends on creating guilt. First throw coal tar on people's hearts and then tell them how to cleanse it. And then they have to pay for it.

Psychoanalysis is a reaction. I don't call it a revolution but only a reaction. It reacted against this whole business and it started doing the opposite: it makes you proud of your things. It says, 'This is perfectly normal. If you are wetting your bed this is perfectly normal. There is nothing wrong in it. You should be really proud of it.' It gives support to you as you are.

Religion condemns you as you are. Psychoanalysis convinces you that you are the only way you can be, and you are perfectly right, you are okay. That is the message of psychoanalysis. Both are wrong. Neither do you need to feel guilty nor do you need to feel perfectly okay. If you feel guilty you will fall victim to the church, to the priest, and they will exploit you. If you start feeling you are perfectly okay, you become dormant; your growth stops.

You have to know one thing: that life means evolution, growth, life means going higher and higher - to new planitudes, to new planes of being. There is no need to feel guilty for what you are, but there is every need to have a tremendous longing to rise higher, because you are a seed, a potential, and you can become God. If you accept yourself as you are and you settle with it, you will remain a seed.

You will never become a tree and you will never be able to have a dialogue with the stars. You will not be able to play with the wind and the rain and the sun. You will remain shrunk into a seed. But there is no need to feel guilty. A seed is a seed - there is no need to feel guilty - but the seed has to become a tree. There is really a great need to inquire into one's potential. Never feel guilty, never feel proud. Just feel tremendously happy that a great opportunity has been given to you to grow.

And this whole life is a challenge to growth. That is true religion and that is true psychology too - because a true religion cannot be anything other than a true psychology. I call that psychology 'the psychology of the Buddhas'. It does not make you feel guilty; it accepts you, it loves you, but it doesn't make you feel proud to be as you are. It gives you a great challenge to be more than you are. It gives you a divine discontent. It makes you aflame with a desire to go higher and higher - not higher than others, but higher than yourself. Tomorrow should not be just a repetition of today - that is the meaning of divine discontent. Today should not be just a repetition of yesterday, otherwise you have not lived. Today must bring some new gifts to you, some new flowers, some new rays. Some new windows must open today.

To feel guilty means to remain possessed by the past; to feel proud means to remain wherever you are, whatsoever you are. To have a divine discontent means to grow, to search, to seek, to explore. And life is nothing but an adventure, a constant adventure, into the unknown.

So I don't want you to feel guilty and I don't want you to feel proud. When you drop both, real life begins.

It is not only difficult, it is impossible. It is really a miracle if sometimes it happens, because two persons are two persons. Their past experiences are different, their gestalt is different, their knowledge is different, their personalities are different. They are two worlds. They speak different languages; it may be the same language, but they speak different languages. They give different meaning to words, different nuances, different shades and different colours.

When you are looking at a rose flower and if there are five persons looking at the rose flower, don't think for a single moment that you are looking at the same rose flower - you cannot; only five Buddhas standing beside the flower will be able to look at the same rose flower. You cannot, because five Buddhas means five zeros, five no-minds. Only two no-minds can commune because there is nothing to hinder now, nothing to interpret with. It is direct.

But when five minds are standing beside the rose flower they only believe that they are looking at the same rose flower, because they have different ideas of the rose, different experiences of the rose, different past impacts of the rose. All that is there in their eyes, layer upon layer. This rose is so far away, so distant.

For example, one may have loved a woman who was obsessed by roses, but she betrayed him. Now the rose will only remind him of that betrayal and the woman. That is not the others' experience.

The other may have seen a dead man garlanded with a rose garland. The rose will remind him of death - he may feel a little fear. The third may have his own experience of the rose. It will depend.

Only two no-minds can communicate. Even without words, communication happens. It is a communion. But minds are bound to clash, conflict.

Seated in an elegantly appointed restaurant, Chico Marx was studying the oversized menu when the head waiter approached his table. The waiter folded his hands in front of him and with proper Continental demeanour enquired, 'And what is your pleasure, Monsieur?'

The young husband and his bride flew to Miami for their honeymoon and for days neither hide nor hair was seen of them. On the morning of the sixth day, they entered the dining-room for breakfast.

As the waiter approached them for their order the bride turned to her husband and said coyly, 'You know what I'd like, honey, don't you?'

'Yes, I know,' he replied wearily, 'but we have got to eat some time too!'

The boss had been after his secretary for almost a year. He had been suggesting all kinds of things to her. On this particular evening he was unusually persistent.

'Oh, come on!' he said. 'Let's go out and have supper, then go to the theatre, then to a nightclub and then we will go up to my apartment.'

The blond clipped back, 'I would like you to comprehend that I am adamant and didactic in my refusal of your salacious, mendacious and denigrating proposition.'

Language is the problem. Different experiences, different minds, different pasts, different patterns, different habits, different personalities.

You ask me why it is difficult to communicate. It is not only difficult, it is almost impossible. If once in a while it happens, feel tremendously fortunate. Yes, once in a while it happens. When you are deeply in love with somebody, it happens. Then language is not needed, then your very presence, your very vibe communicates. Then, for a moment, in deep love, you slip out of your minds. In deep love, for a moment you become Buddhas, you become no-minds.

So only in rare moments of love does communication happen, otherwise it is always a quarrel, a subtle conflict. You say one thing, the other understands something else. The other says something, you understand something else. If you really want to communicate, become more and more loving - because love is needed, not language. Language is a barrier, love is a bridge.

If you really want to communicate, start slipping out of your mind. Become more and more zeros, no-minds, and suddenly you will see miracles happening.

It is happening here. The new people who come here are not in tune with me. For a few days I say something, they understand something else. But as they become more and more open to my love, communication starts happening. To those who have really lived long with me and have become intimate, to those with whom the barrier of language has disappeared, just a look in their eyes or just a touch of my hand, and there is communication - not only communication, but communion.

That's why just recently I have started a new way of communing with my sannyasins: just to touch them, just to let them feel my energy. The more you become intimate with me, the less and less words will be needed - because you will start hearing me, and then there will be no need of words. I will continue to speak for those who will be coming - more and more will be coming, thousands are on the way - but those who have been here with me long enough or deep enough... And depth can happen even in a single moment. It is not only a question of time, it is a question of intensity.

Sometimes it happens that when a person comes to me for the first time, the first moment of contact, and he becomes intimate as if he has been with me for many lives. And not only do I feel that, he also immediately feels that he has come home, that this is the place he has been searching for his whole life or for many lives. Then communication immediately happens, then there is no conflict.

In fact, the moment that there is communion and there is no conflict is the moment of your real initiation. Then what I say is secondary, what I am becomes primary. Then you relate to me directly. Then you are not distracted by my words - because I am not a consistent man, I contradict myself.

And I contradict myself deliberately to help you to get rid of your expectation of consistency, to help you to get rid of language. Listening to me contradicting myself again and again, slowly slowly you will see that words are only games; you will not be serious about words. The day that awakening has happened in you, you relate to me directly. Then there is no medium needed; then you are bridged.

I am in love, I am love. The moment you are in love and you become love, communion happens. Communion is a function of love, not of language. In fact, language functions as a hindrance, not as a help.

Remember it: to be with me is to be with an emptiness, a nobody. I have nothing to offer to you, I have nothing to teach you, I have no philosophy. I am, but I have no philosophy. I am, but I have nothing to offer. I am, but I have nothing to teach. And you have to learn to be with this l-amness.

And then you will know what communion is. Communion is a phenomenon of love, a flowering of love. It has nothing to do with language, with words - not at all; it is silence.

The Secret of Secrets, Vol 1.
Talks on the Secret of the Golden Flower
Chapter 12 - To Create a Balance