Date:   3/4/2017 10:45:55 AM ( 8 y ago)
Hits:   1,476
URL:   https://www.curezone.org/forums/fm.asp?i=2357164

Although there are several very good suggestions, a lot of these recommendations might feed a codependency issue in someone who has issues prior to marriage.

The thing to remember about marriage is this: it is a legal, binding contract. It is not the blending of souls, a romantic "happily-ever-after" arrangement, or any of the other whimsical ideology that we've been taught to believe. A good, strong marriage requires individuals who are emotionally healthy who understand that the only person that they can control is themselves.

A spouse is not responsible for the state of mind of their partner. This doesn't mean that they cannot encourage and support - absolutely, support and encouragement are necessary for the other partner's self-esteem. However, the other partner must already have healthy "Self-isms" before plunging into the contract of marriage, or else their spouse will be beset with guilt, shame, hopelessness, helplessness, and fear.

There is NO simple means to create a "happy" marriage. "Happy" is a fleeting sentiment - Life is full of very UN-happy events and situations, and partners who are emotionally healthy to begin with will be able to weather those random Life's events in a healthy manner.
 

<< Return to the standard message view

fetched in 0.02 sec, referred by http://www.curezone.org/forums/fmp.asp?i=2357164